Cosmopolitan

Are you a 'thinkaholic'?

Have you ever dated a guy and found you are thinking and worrying about stuff like why he is not calling, what he thinks of you, or if you’re really in love with him?

You know, when your mind goes blah-blah-blah about big and small things…

Oh, friend, all that thinking is exhausting for you! What’s more, it puts your relationship at risk! You’re focussing all your energy on worrying instead of just living in the moment.

According to Gerald Klerman and Myrna Weissman, from Columbia University, our generation is the most depressed ever. The reason? Because we can live and be however we want. I know, it’s weird, right? Apparently, our grandma’s life was way much easier, since society “told” her to get married in her early 20s, have children and so on.

So what can you do if you have become a “thinkaholic” who spends valuable time repeating a lot of worries in your head?

It’s easy! Here are some tricks:

1. Become aware of the thoughts, how they look and when they tend to enter your head. Tell yourself they are not for real, but just created by you.
2. Learn how to swap negative thoughts for positive ones. If you for example think “I’m not sure if he wants to meet me again”, think instead “We had a good time – I’d like to see him again”.
3. Every time you find yourself worrying, say “stop” and distract your mind. Go for a run or do a crossword, something that forces you away from the worried thoughts.
4. Don’t talk about it with friends! The more you talk about your worries, the worse they get. If you are going to chat with your chicks, think “solutions” instead of “problems”.
5. Enjoy yourself and smile!

By Carolin Dahlman

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Comments (26)

  • Report this »
    So needed that, im dealing with inner turmoil atm cos of over thinking and ruining a relationship - dammit bring back arranged marriage lol
  • Report this »
    its so hard not to think into things too much! im terrible at it and really need to do the above and think about the good things rather than the bad! it does really create a burdon on relationships so you've really got to try and train ur mind not to overthink things!
  • Report this »
    Thought are energy that we create and yes in theory change them from negative to positive but in reality so hard to do!!! I know they are creating the skinny pill to stop people storing fat but can they create the relax pill to help us think positive? I'd definitely snap that one up - lol.
  • Report this »
    Why can't us girls jus be like the boys. They don't think. They have a thought/idea then act on it. If they say something, they dont have an underlying agenda (that us girls seem to keep thinking 'what did he really mean when he said that' etc..) They are just simple creatures. So.. If a guy seems 'just not that into you' Dont think that he's having issues within himself as to why he hasn't called you for 3 days, ..fair chances he probably isn't that into u, simple.
  • Report this »
    Continued: Guess my point being - Lets take a leaf out of their book for once! Us chicks DO think way to much into things and we need to quit it. its not healthy and its dam depressing having to spend a good catch up session over coffee or wine pondering, anylising and desecting everything a man says or does to us.. or even what we think/feel/do to them.
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