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Be your best you!
Let’s face it, we’re all a bit picky. No butter on your bread, no salt on your fries, extra mayo on your sandwich. But when it comes to dating, we can suffer the same fate. I bet you have dismissed a guy because his shoes were not trendy enough or his teeth were a bit crooked. I bet you have missed out on love because he was just not “right”.
Now, I’m not going to convince you to be less picky and see beyond the small faults. After all, you’ve heard that before, haven’t you?
No, my aim with this column is to see yourself in the same way as you see the guys. They are picky, too! Maybe they’re worried about those annoying idiosyncrasies, too - how you smell, how tight your top is, how you chew your food. Guys sweat the small stuff, too.
Both men and women avoid getting to know really great people because of this bad habit – but why not start fixing those little things, so you can start focusing on what’s great about you? Of course your bad breath is a part of you, but it’s not what you are most proud of, right? When it is stopping that hottie from asking you to a second date, you miss out for a stupid reason that could easily have been fixed.
Do you have any datestoppers? You are probably not aware of them, but if you have a good friend to ask, what do you think they will say? For my upcoming book about guys I interviewed hundreds of men about what they like and don’t like. What really puts them off are girls who gets too drunk or don’t act like ladies (swearing, farting, belching). Men don’t find super-drunk girls carrying their high heels very attractive…
If I look at myself, there are heaps of things that make me hesitate about a date – facial hair, wrong kind of sunnies, jeans too high up, slurping, bragging, racist values, low ambition… Now imagine what kind of stuff that can be date stoppers for you?
And how can it be fixed? New clothes? Flossing? Listening more? Less make up?
I am not telling you to become someone you’re not. I am telling you to bring out your very best you. Your best parts, the stuff that counts and makes a boy adore you. Show how caring, fun or intelligent you are – don’t let all that hide behind one drink too many, bad-fitting jeans or shyness. Bring you out, young lady! And bring him on.
By Carolin Dahlman
Carolin is a professional love coach and author. She has coached thousands
of people to happiness in her one-on-one practice and workshops. Her base is
Sydney, but her
clients live all over the world. More info: www.coaching2love.com
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