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If you thought that movie stars who get nominated for Oscars and don’t win go home empty-handed – you (like us) would be very much mistaken.
It turns out the awards losers actually score a goody bag worth more than most people's yearly salary. Which we suppose would help soften the blow of missing out on the big prize.
According to ReydEye, the $80k-a-piece bags will go to the losing nominees in the Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, and Best Director categories.
And with four losers per category, that means there will be $1.6 million dollars’ worth of fancy swag handed out on the night, to people who are already totally loaded. Ludicrous.
And as for the contents of these obscene gift bags, we’ve ranked it right here in order of least to most ridiculous. Enjoy.
10,000 Halo Natural Pet Food meal donations made to the losers pet charity of choice
Chocolates from Chicago-based Chocolatines
Betty Jane candies
Aviv 613 luxury vodka
Skincare products from Acure Organics
Wonder Glow Organic Lipgloss from Makeup Studio by Diane Capt
Coolway "no damage" Go Pro blow dryer
Swiss-made Slow Watches
Jan Lewis bracelets and ties
VETVIK "The Covert" leather iPhone case
Max Martin luxury American-made shoes
Blossom Blends "bespoke" teas
Hydroxycut protein shakes, bars and gummies
The LOADED book series
Steamist Total Sense home spa system
Fine art from Gizara Art
Accupuncture sessions with Heather Lounsbury
M3K Beauty products for "exceptionally vibrant skin"
Personal training sessions at Huntley Drive Fitness
Bee Free Honee organic apple honey
Rouge Maple "best maple syrup you've ever tasted"
Knit & Co. cable knit mittens
Slimware portion-control plates
Simon's Happy Pet Shampoo
MACE pepper spray gun
HISY wireless camera shutter remote for iPhones
PolarLoop activity tracker
A wearable camera by Narrative Clip
Mane 'n Tail haircare products and Concieved by Nature styling stuff (horse shampoo)
Wrag Wrap luxury sustainable gift wrap
The Green Garmento Gargantote and dry cleaning bag
Le Petit Cirque aerial lessons
Dosha Pops (a lollipop that is designed to balance your doshic energy)
Epic Pet Health electrolyte therapy
Vacation packages to the Canadian Rockies, Hawaii, Las Vegas, Mexico and Japan
Krystal Klear Water whole house water filtration system
DrainWig (a drain plug)
ARTAS Robotic Hair Transplant System performed by Dr. William Yates
The O-Shot procedure by Dr. Charles Runels (like a stem-cell shot in the vagina that claims to make sex better)
The reactions shocked me.
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And that’s that – all done! We told you it’d only take a minute. Now, go. Enjoy!
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