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Oscars gift bag contents revealed

9:13AM, Feb 21, 2014
$80,000 worth of goodies for awards losers ranges from horse shampoo to sex enhancing surgery.

If you thought that movie stars who get nominated for Oscars and don’t win go home empty-handed – you (like us) would be very much mistaken.

It turns out the awards losers actually score a goody bag worth more than most people's yearly salary. Which we suppose would help soften the blow of missing out on the big prize.

According to ReydEye, the $80k-a-piece bags will go to the losing nominees in the Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, and Best Director categories.

And with four losers per category, that means there will be $1.6 million dollars’ worth of fancy swag handed out on the night, to people who are already totally loaded. Ludicrous.

And as for the contents of these obscene gift bags, we’ve ranked it right here in order of least to most ridiculous. Enjoy.

 

10,000 Halo Natural Pet Food meal donations made to the losers pet charity of choice

Chocolates from Chicago-based Chocolatines

Betty Jane candies

Cannonball wine

Aviv 613 luxury vodka

Skincare products from Acure Organics

Wonder Glow Organic Lipgloss from Makeup Studio by Diane Capt

Coolway "no damage" Go Pro blow dryer

Swiss-made Slow Watches

Jan Lewis bracelets and ties

VETVIK "The Covert" leather iPhone case

Jitzeu Handbags

Max Martin luxury American-made shoes

Blossom Blends "bespoke" teas

Hydroxycut protein shakes, bars and gummies

The LOADED book series

Steamist Total Sense home spa system

Fine art from Gizara Art

Accupuncture sessions with Heather Lounsbury

M3K Beauty products for "exceptionally vibrant skin"

Personal training sessions at Huntley Drive Fitness

Bee Free Honee organic apple honey

Rouge Maple "best maple syrup you've ever tasted"

Knit & Co. cable knit mittens

Slimware portion-control plates

Simon's Happy Pet Shampoo  

MACE pepper spray gun

HISY wireless camera shutter remote for iPhones

PolarLoop activity tracker

A wearable camera by Narrative Clip

Mane 'n Tail haircare products and Concieved by Nature styling stuff (horse shampoo)

Wrag Wrap luxury sustainable gift wrap

The Green Garmento Gargantote and dry cleaning bag

Le Petit Cirque aerial lessons

Dosha Pops (a lollipop that is designed to balance your doshic energy)

Epic Pet Health electrolyte therapy

Vacation packages to the Canadian Rockies, Hawaii, Las Vegas, Mexico and Japan

Krystal Klear Water whole house water filtration system

DrainWig (a drain plug)

ARTAS Robotic Hair Transplant System performed by Dr. William Yates

The O-Shot procedure by Dr. Charles Runels (like a stem-cell shot in the vagina that claims to make sex better)

 

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