Dads in the Delivery Room: Douglas

Home birth dad

Douglas Bender, 39, Commercial Analyst
Son Felix, five months

“I was always nervous about being by Natalie’s side during childbirth, but she was adamant that I wasn’t getting out of it that easily! Like most new dads, I didn’t know what to expect and I was concerned about things going wrong. We originally planned to have the baby at a birthing centre, but after visiting a few times, we realised we weren’t getting the type of care we’d hoped for. A friend of ours encouraged us to try a home birth, and after a meeting with the home birth midwife, Doris, we felt it was the right choice for us. I was happy with our decision, but scared of what we’d do if something went wrong.

"Finding out there were back-up plans in place put my mind at ease. Ambulances are alerted to the fact there’s a home birth happening, just in case one is needed, and at the smallest complication, the midwife and her assistant would take us to the nearest hospital. The week before Natalie’s due date, we set up the birthing pool on the veranda of our house, which is private and provides a natural, calming environment. Natalie was due on October 26, 2007, and just before midday on October 24, her waters broke. It was a long day with lots of naps and waiting, and by the next morning, the contractions were still light and 10 minutes apart. We called the midwife who came with her assistant, and we also called our friend who’d recommended the home birth. We moved Natalie from the bed to the pool and massaged her hips to get things going. Natalie was still pretty calm, but I was getting nervous, because if the baby didn’t make its way out soon we would have to go to the hospital.

"Doris suggested walking up and down the stairs, but the process of trying to get Natalie out of the pool was enough to start the final stage of labour. It was an amazing moment – Natalie just got out of the pool, put two hands on the edge and pushed. The baby came out straightaway! Natalie started giggling uncontrollably, which is what she does when she’s emotional, and I just bawled like a little kid. I’d kept my feelings bottled up until I knew everything was OK, and then I let it all out. Having a home birth was the best option for us; it was such an intimate experience with no strangers barging in. Seeing Natalie in pain was pretty terrible, but I’m so proud of her for managing to get through childbirth – especially without pain relief. Seeing her give birth to our baby has made me love her even more, and I couldn’t imagine having missed this moment for the world.”