Cosmopolitan

Drama queen

The common element in all our relationship challenges is: We are there too! Am I part of the problem? Or am I part of the solution?

I really love my husband and will never leave him. I just don’t understand why I would still have feelings for his best mate. I know he has feelings for me too, but we would never act upon them. We both liked each other before my husband and I got together, but nothing ever came of it. It feels like I’m tipping on the edge of doing something stupid. I don’t want to hurt anybody but I just don’t know what to do anymore. I have tried to keep my distance but it’s nearly impossible. Please help!

It seems you can’t get your husband's best mate out of your mind. He is also at the point of betraying his best friend and what you focus on grows. Yet, as you say you really love your husband, so would you be willing to put it to the test? Shift your focus, and concentrate on loving your husband with all your attention and having no contact with his mate for a while. Give your best in every way. Perhaps have a holiday together. You’ll never know unless you give it a go.  Perhaps you need to re-kindle passion into your marriage, as that’s what’s looking good with his mate. Then decide if you want to go ahead with the other guy. Ask yourself: will the consequences be worth it? All of our thoughts and deeds have a boomerang attached. Some call it karma. Whatever you give out, you’ll get back.

I'm a shy person and I never approach guys first, I always chicken out. Is there a way to send subtle signals to let him know I'm interested, and then get him to make the first move?

You instinctively feel that to allow a guy you approach you first, is the way to go. Even in this techno age, we are still human, and underneath the male psyche, there is still a need to hunt. Be it cars, computer games, sport, women, or whatever. They love a challenge. The simple, tried and true way is to smile. Even a shy person can do that. You can practice this too. Get in front of a mirror, and practice smiling at your self. The point of this exercise to build your self confidence. Be natural, and be yourself. Smiling actually changes your brain chemistry to a feeling of wellbeing. Especially don’t put on an act. Fake smiles turn people off. A simple friendly hello can start things off. When the convo starts, remember his name and use it. Peeps love to hear their own name.

Do you have a question for our Drama Queen, Gerda Foster? Click here.






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Comments (8)

  • Report this »
    i have been been my bf for 6 and a half years, everything goes great for a while but then i find him cheating on me :( this has happened a few times with my old best friend, but he deneys it and turns it around on me, he tells me loves me and only me , she has told me the truth but has lied to me before.. not sure who to trust please help me ????
  • Report this »
    Jessica i have been in the same situation. i have been with my boyfriend for 5 -6 years, and he has cheated on me with my bestfriend, she lied to me about it, he lied to me about it, i had to hear about it from my other mates. he cheated on my twice after that, but after being on and off for that long he has changed. he doesnt look at other girls, he hates being away from me (sometimes thats not so fun).But after being with him for so long, i wanna play with the other fishies in the sea without hurting him!
  • Report this »
    to both Tara and Jessica ... y did u stick around in the first place after he cheated the first time?
  • Report this »
    Okay this is to the "why guys dump chicks they dig" article. If men always want more then how is it that i've been in a relationship for a year??? -dickhead.
  • Report this »
    why can't I get over a guy who couldn't care less about me, even now when i am with a sweet guy who truly loves me?
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