Fashion

An analysis: The most fucking insanely ridiculous things that happened at New York Fashion Week

If this is fashion, I want no part in it.

By: Emily Kerr
vaquera new york fashion week

Call me ignorant, uninspired, basic or devoid of any suggestion of sartorial understanding, but I’m calling BS on a handful of designer wears deemed stylish enough for the prestigious runways of New York Fashion Week.

Every season the breathtaking couture creations and trend-commanding catwalk themes are interspersed with some total insanity masquerading as ‘fashion’. And A/W17 is no exception. NYFW has just wrapped up and my mind is fifty shades of WTF over some scenes witnessed.

Hey yo, fashion people! Is this srsly considered on-trend? Lemme know. Genuinely interested.

WHO?

Vaquera

WHAT?

As highlighted by The Cut, marrying your culinary career goals with your Egyptian cotton bed sheets and a side of I-CBF-with-Halloween-so-I’ll-just-be-a-fucking-ghost is now considered style #goals.

FOR WHEN?

For your My Kitchen Rules viewing party. General meal prep.

WHO?

Betsey Johnson

WHAT?

Laura Ashley threw up a human pavlova.

FOR WHEN?

A Jane Austen themed roller disco.

WHO?

Chi Zhang

WHAT?

"The apocalypse is nigh but I also can’t decide if I’m too hot or too cold."

FOR WHEN?

If you're one of those 'scared AF of pollution' types.

WHO?

Vaquera

WHAT?

A giant, fake Tiffany pouch. For realsies.

FOR WHEN?

Literally never.

WHO?

Christian Cowan

WHAT?

A fishnet body stocking and a personal space enforcing hat.

FOR WHEN?

Work… if you hate your job and are looking to get out of it ASAP.

WHO?

Christian Conway

WHAT?
Valentine’s on crack.

FOR WHEN?

Feb 14th annually.

WHO?

Sheguang Hu

WHAT?

A tragic accident waiting to happen / a blatant disregard for all common sense.

FOR WHEN?

An asphyxiation-themed wedding.

WHO?

Sheguang Hu

WHAT?

Itchy nipples.

FOR WHEN?

I just can’t even.

WHO?

Namilia

WHAT?

An outer-garm for mermaids acclimatised to warm waters who just aren’t great with the cold.

FOR WHEN?

When climate change does its thing. (Now.)

WHO?

Namilia

WHAT?

Christina Aguilera circa Dirrty plus dicks on tits.

FOR WHEN?

… six in the morning. Table dancing, glasses are smashing. No question, time for some action. Temperature's up (can you feel it). About to erupt. Gonna get my girls. Get your boys. Gonna make some noooooiiiise.

WHO?

Namilia

WHAT?

A politically charged off-the-shoulder puffa jacket with chest wings, natch.

FOR WHEN?

Protesting Trump, I guess?