Sweet Dreams
It's a well-known fact that sleep deprivation was used as a form of torture during wartime, so it's little wonder that parents-to-be can get a tad nervous when thinking about how a newborn might affect their bedtime. But does it have to be as bad as it sounds? Is there a way to ensure you lose as little Z-time as possible in that first year?
It can be done and it all starts before baby is even born, according to Jennifer Hamilton, an experienced mothercraft nurse who runs her own home-visiting service and is the author of Maternal Matters (maternalmatters.com.au). The first vital step is to discuss your ideas on child-rearing with your partner while you're pregnant, as it's going to be so much harder after the baby is born when you're both tired, emotional and overwhelmed. "Parents should research as much as possible beforehand," explains Hamilton. "You may find you have very different ideas and thoughts about things, such as routines and leaving your baby to cry."
Hamilton explains that our parenting styles can be heavily influenced by our own upbringing, which can cause conflict if you have vastly different ingrained ideas on childrearing.
OK, so you've discussed your ideas, agreed on a game plan and feel confident about your parenting future. Now your bub is in your arms … what the heck do you do? According to Hamilton, trust your instincts! "These days we're so afraid of our babies," she says. "It's so hard with the amount of conflicting advice around - there's too much information and not enough support. Start to listen to and trust yourself, because you have the answers. And once you've decided what guidelines you'll follow, find the confidence to be consistent."
Here are Hamilton's answers to some of the most common questions to get you and your baby on the road to a good night's sleep.
Should my baby sleep in our room?
"In the beginning it should be whatever you both feel comfortable doing. However, from eight weeks onwards your baby starts to lose their primitive reflexes and becomes more aware of their surroundings. Also, babies make noises when they're in the light stage of their sleep cycle and it can be easy to mistake this for the baby waking up, so you could feel tempted to pick them up unnecessarily. My professional feeling is to move the baby into their own room at around the eight-week stage*."
What signs tell me my baby is tired?
"These include yawning, jerky movements and clenched fists and toes, but don't rely on these indicators too much as they can be hard to recognise and, by the time the signs appear, your baby is overtired. I work with the 'windows of time' concept; be aware of where your baby is in their developmental stage and then follow a strong routine that's in line with that stage."
Is it wrong to rock my baby to sleep?
"If it works for you and your family, then it's not wrong. However, if you find you're exhausted and can't get anything else done and your baby won't go to sleep unless they're being rocked, I think there's a better way. Remember, nothing is a problem if you have a happy, healthy baby who's developing and growing, and you're happy and coping with the decisions you've made. However, you do need to think about six months down the track, which means if you don't want to do it anymore you'll have to put your baby through a drastic, traumatic change."
*Alternatively, Sids and Kids recommends parents Sleep baby in their own safe sleeping environment next to their bed for the first six to twelvemonths of life.
More baby bedtime questions are answered in the Autumn 2012 issue of Cosmo Pregnancy, on sale now.
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