The Hate Crush: Why we obsess over the woman we don’t like

11:21AM, Jun 9, 2010

That ex friend of colleague who makes you want to snap your new stilettos just so you can stab her with the heel? She’s your hate crush – and according to a recent Cosmo online survey, 89 per cent of readers have one. While it’s normal to clash with some people, psychologists warn that hateful feelings can turn into obsessions…

Loving to hate
How do you work out if you’re in dangerous hate-crush territory? The answer lies in how much time you spend thinking and talking about her, says psychologist Anne Hollonds of Relationships Australia.

If you’re constantly Face-stalking, bitch-tweeting or gossiping, stop. More extreme signs include hacking her email account, physical stalking and cyber bullying. "While it may temporarily feel good, it’s having a negative impact on you," Hollonds says. "Hate crushes are a sign you’re feeling insecure and are trying to distract yourself."

Moving on
Ready to get over your hate crush? Get rid of all triggers (delete her from your Facebook, etc), cut the bitching, and practise positive self-talk. "Ask, ‘Why am I doing this?’, then tell yourself ‘She’s not worth it and this isn’t doing me any good’," Hollonds says.

The Haters…
Katy Perry and Lily Allen
The outspoken pop tarts battled it out in the media after Katy called herself a "skinnier version of Lily Allen".

Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag
The Hills stars have spread rumours, trash-talked each other and somehow lived to see the end of it.

Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian
In a radio interview Paris described her ex friend’s rear as "disgusting".

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