Lessons from the Dalai Lama
Use them in your daily life
Most people know His Holiness The 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet as a peace-seeking Buddhist monk who famously gets about in an orange robe. Fewer are aware he was one of 16 children born to a potato farming family in 1935, and went by the name of Tenzin Gyatso until he was declared the “rebirth” of the 13th Dalai Lama at the age of two.
During the Chinese invasion of Tibet in the ‘50s, the nation’s then-ruler fled to India and founded the Tibetan Government in Exile in an effort to preserve Tibetan culture and education. The 1989 Nobel Peace Prize recipient has since helped to spread Buddhism to the West, and promote the concepts of universal responsibility and religious harmony.
Now, a decade since the release of his groundbreaking self-help tome The Art of Happiness (and the authorised biography, Dalai Lama, fresh off the press) experts show how we can apply the softly-spoken guru’s teachings to our daily lives. “Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”
What this means for you: “If you missed out on a job, look at the benefits of going through the interview process,” says Sydney psychologist Susan Nicholson. “The recruiter may recommend you for another – better – position, that you would have missed out on had you landed the first job; or at the least, you’ll be able to draw on the experience in your next interview.”
“Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.”
What this means for you: “I use this phrase regularly with my clients,” says Melbourne life coach Kathleen Alexander. “It means that you shouldn’t approach a task with a pre-conceived idea of how to do it. Accept direction from your superiors (at work, perhaps) and when you know how to do it their way, you can then use your skills to perform the task more effectively.”
“Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.”
What this means for you: “If you’ve sacrificed the friendship of a girlfriend in order to date a guy, ask yourself if the prize is worth it,” says Nicholson. “The lesson here is not to devote yourself completely to one area of your life, because others will suffer as a result.”
“Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.”
What this means for you: “If you find yourself in, say, a new friendship or partnership with someone who has differing values, you don’t have to give up yours in order to be friends with them,” says Alexander.
“To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else.”
What this means for you: “The only person you can change is yourself,” says Nicholson. “Instead of wasting your breath complaining about someone you don’t like, ask yourself, ‘Am I playing a part in the problem I have with this person, and if so, how can I rectify that?’”
“In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher.”
What this means for you: “The ‘enemy’ is something – a person or a situation – that conflicts with your values,” says Alexander. “Tolerance can only be practiced in the company of an ‘enemy’, so look at these people/situations as an exercise to develop your tolerance and patience.”
“It is very important to generate a good attitude, a good heart, as much as possible. From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term for both yourself and others will come.”
What this means for you: “We need to change our thinking before we can change our lives,” says Alexander. “If you’re almost hit by a car, and you harbour resentment for the driver all day, you probably won’t have a great day. But if you think ‘that was a lucky escape’ and move on with a positive outlook, you (or your peers) won’t feel weighed down by your negativity. It’s about making a conscious choice to be happy, and sharing that happiness with others.”
For more advice from Kathleen Alexander, go to cleverfox.com.au.
By Sarah Reid