[Spoilers ahead if you haven't finished season three.] One of the most exasperating aspects of this season of Orange Is the New Black was how many cliffhangers were packed into its last few episodes. It's hard enough when network TV shows have suspenseful season finales in May, like Scandal, but at least those shows are back on air in the fall, a few short months later.
But since there's a good chance Orange Is the New Black won't be back for its fourth season for basically an entire year — please, don't let that be true — its cliffhangers are much more frustrating. Here are all the questions that will torture fans until OITNB returns.
1. The obvious: Is Alex dead?
Alex spent most of the season acting terribly paranoid (which got irritating pretty quickly), but in the season finale, it turned out that she was right to be afraid about Kubra hunting her down. The last time we saw Alex, one of Kubra's associates was alone with her in the greenhouse after sneaking in through the prison's new, laughably unsafe hiring system. Alex has made it out of some pretty gnarly situations in the past, but this one seemed especially bad.
2. When will Nicky return? When?
I'm posing this as a "when" because the idea of never seeing Nicky again is absolutely heart-breaking. But there's really no way of telling how long Nicky will stay in max after the heroin debacle; it's possible she's gone for good.
3. Will Morello live happily ever after?
It was very sweet to see Morello fall in love and bittersweet to watch her get married behind bars, especially knowing how much she'd hoped and dreamed of having a big wedding someday. Vince, her new husband, definitely knows Morello's … one of a kind — but how much does he know about her past and mental health struggles? Will they really be able to enjoy newlywed bliss? And here's another pressing question: Did anyone think of giving them a condom before that quickie post-wedding conjugal visit? Maybe she's pregnant!
4. Did Bennet call the DEA on Cesar?
We knew that when Bennett went to see whether Cesar would be an OK parent to the baby he was having with Daya, Bennett didn't like what he saw. (Given that Cesar pulled a gun on a kid for refusing to eat French fries, who can blame Bennett?) The DEA came storming into Cesar's apartment and arrested him at the end of season three. Will we learn in season four whether it was Bennett who sent them there?
5. What will happen to Daya's baby?
After Aleida told Pornstache's mother that Daya's baby died during childbirth, Aleida then arranged for a cousin to pick up Daya's baby to take him to Cesar. But now that Cesar's headed for prison, who will raise Daya's baby? We haven't seen Bennett since he left that crib by the side of the road and drove off.
6. How will Judy King fit in at Litchfield?
The inmates spent so much time watching and obsessing over Judy King's trial throughout the season that it seemed unfair to only get our first real glimpse of her in the very last episode. It should be really fun to see how Litchfield responds to its celebrity inmate. May she make them all prison ponchos.
7. Will Coates assault Maritza?
Pennsatucky and Big Boo's plan to get Coates away from Pennsatucky by faking a seizure while on a van run went perfectly — she's off that work detail for good. But since Maritza was made her replacement, it seems likely that Coates might attack her, too, or at least take her to his favorite park for another really, really troubling game of fetch.
8. Does Crazy Eyes finally have a real girlfriend?
Even though she was much more of a secondary character this season, we learned a lot about Crazy Eyes; among other things, we now know that she's an incredibly gifted writer of erotic fiction and that she's never had sex before. After a few false starts over the course of the season, Crazy Eyes and Maureen had a sweet, mutually flirtatious moment toward the end of the season finale involving a snapping turtle. It seems like they're on the track to being prison official.
9. Will the prison guards ever walk back on?
Typically on OITNB, the guards have been the bad guys, but this season, we learned that among the rapists and sadists, there are some decent, doughnut-loving, show-tune singing nice guys. They walked off the job after Caputo revealed that he was the new top dog — and no longer interested in fighting their union battles for them. Who's going to run the prison if they don't come back?
10. Uh, will the inmates get in trouble for that dip in the lake?
Or did they just go for a swim, then head back to jail? In which case, praise Norma!