Newsflash: it's just a date
By Cecelia Rotella
Do you remember your first date? The excitement, the unbearable nervousness and the sheer deliciousness of knowing that someone is so totally into you that they've gone out on a limb to pursue that interest?
As an institution, the date has such fresh and innocent connotations that in this day and age, it almost seems "old school". In many ways, it looks like it's teetering on the brink of extinction, what with the career-driven, fast-paced society we've developed into in the last 20 years.
Longer working hours mean that we have limited opportunities to meet new people who they (a) don't work with; or (b) meet randomly at a bar or club. The development of the Internet has honed in on the dating scene with the introduction of online dating, but it still seems, according to couple Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt — authors of bestseller He's Just Not That Into You — that people are having a hard time finding that perfect someone. Luckily, they have a solution.
If you feel like your romantic encounters are limited to random drunken hook-ups, one-night stands, 3am booty calls and those "are we seeing each other or what?" relationships, then you should read the relationship power-couple's latest book, It's Just a Date!
After teaching us the mantra "he's just not that into you", Greg and Amiira have begun a quest to reclaim the date. They are advocates of the date as a way of getting to know someone, without the expectations or complications of sex — at least not straight away, which happens to be their number one rule. The book draws on the couple's personal dating experiences — the good, the bad and the ugly — as well as letters from readers around the globe.
The authors articulate the perspective of both men and women on the dating scene, so you can understand exactly what the opposite sex are thinking. It's jam-packed with titbits of advice so you can stop being the girl he calls up when he wants some action, and become the girl he wants to take home to meet mum.
Each chapter goes into detail on aspects of the dating game, and finishes off with little quizzes and activities to do to get you in the dating frame of mind. Many of the activities have to do with personal enrichment and taking care of yourself first.
Like all self-help books, it's easy to take each word for absolute gospel, but the key is to read it as a whole, then decide which parts relate to you and your situation. It's Just a Date! really is so chock-a-block full of information, it would be quite easy to overdo it and try and do everything the authors recommend, so it's important to only take what you need.
It's Just a Date! emphasises that essentially it is just a date, and not every date you go on will necessarily result in that long-term relationship we're all craving. So you just need to chill and relax, have fun, go with the flow, and more importantly, be yourself!
A very entertaining and enlightening read.
PLUS: The four "sexy" moves that turn guys off...