Cosmo Q&A

Oh, baby!

Author, blogger, TV and radio presenter - whatever you want to call her, Samantha Brett is, above all, Australia's number one dating and relationships guru. If you have a question on men and sex for Sam, submit it below. Fun, honest, helpful answers guaranteed!

Question:

I've just met a wonderful guy; someone I think I could fall in love with. Trouble is, he's already decided that he doesn't want kids. I'm definitely not at that stage yet, but I'm sure that someday, I'll want children. Should I take a chance with him and risk falling in love and having to compromise, or end it now to protect myself?

Answer:

Ouch. This is a tough one. The trouble with this is that the best relationships are the ones where both people share a similar value system. If you value family and having kids, and he doesn't, I'm afraid he's simply never going to change his mind and you're always going to be missing that element from your life. If you can picture a life without kids, that's great. But if you cannot fathom the thought of it, you need to address the situation before you get in too deep. Remember that it could just be the stage of life he is currently in — and one day he could change his mind and want to start a family. But in order to understand his motives, you need to ask him (very gently) if he'd ever one day consider having kids. Help him understand your point of view, too, and explain why having kids is so important to you. Emphasise that you are by no means anywhere near that stage yet, but you just want to ascertain his thoughts on the matter. That way, you'll know for sure if there is even the slight chance he may budge your way. For more from Samantha, head to www.samanthabrett.com.au.

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