Real Life Read: "I catch cheaters for a living"

The woman who catches 'em in the act

Hanging out at bars and flirting with taken men is all in a day's work for Cheryl Consenza.

"This might sound odd, but I spend a lot of time in bars, sitting alone. I don't have a drinking problem and I'm not looking for a random hook-up. I'm actually there to do a job. Technically, I'm a New York and Los Angeles private investigator, but a very specific kind: I help women figure out if their guys are cheating on them.

My strategy is to perch on a bar stool at a man's regular haunt, look sexy, and see what happens. Will the guy buy me a drink inside of 30 minutes? Or will his eyes stay glued to ESPN? My clients pay top-dollar to find out.

The setup
After earning both a law degree and an MBA, I decided to forgo a business or law career and followed my heart into acting and modelling. I fell into the decoy job to supplement my income between acting gigs.

Here's how it works. Say a chick finds a restaurant receipt in her guy's pocket that doesn't match where he said he was last Wednesday. And he's been working late — a lot. Maybe she's discovered that he locks the keypad of his phone so only he can enable it — or he leaves the room to make calls. He's aroused her suspicions, but he doesn't have any actual proof.

So if she has a certain level of moxie — and cash — she finds the firm I work for through word-of-mouth, an attorney or maybe reading an article like this. I never meet potential clients. Instead, a receptionist at my company gets a detailed description of the alleged cheater — his job, hangouts, taste in women, hobbies — and a photo, so I can spot him and catch his eye.

Spy games
When I'm on assignment, I have two bodyguards, wearing earpieces in case anything goes wrong, outside the bar or restaurant (I call them ghosts). By the time I hit a man's favourite bar, I've transformed myself into his dream girl. For some guys, that's a vixen — smoky eye shadow, hot red lipstick and anything skin-baring or form-fitting.

But lots of guys actually go for a pared-down, sex-but-professional look, in which case I put my hair up, wear stylish glasses and go lighter on the make up. If he prefers blondes, I'll even wear a wig.

Once I'm there, I sit by myself at the bar where the subject can see me. (It's often a bar, but if he's not the bar type, it might be a coffee shop, his corporate cafeteria if that's where he eats lunch, even his gym.) I'm approachable, but I don't send him a drink or walk in front of him a billion times. I hate to say it, but about 95 percent of the time, the guy takes the bait.

Flirting 101
Once we start talking, I just happen to drop that I share his love for, oh, let's say 'golf'. (Actually, I've spent the previous night boning up on it.) Maybe I'll ask what his handicap is and then playfully tease him that mine is better.

I can act like a punch-drunk beauty-pageant contestant if I need to. Or I can hold my own in a serious discussion about real estate and politics. I laugh at his jokes, maintain eye contact, lean in occasionally and put my hand on his sleeve. By the end of our encounter, he's practically panting for my phone number.

Guilty as charged
Once he asks for it, I have proof that the dude is on the prowl. This level of investigation costs the client about US$2500. But sometimes she wants to find out whether he's really acting on it, so once he calls, I agree to spend even more time with him.

One client ended up spending about US$50,000 for three months of my spying on her man, talking on the phone with him and meeting up with him for a handful of dates. For one recent case, I went out with the subject, an attorney, four times. Not only did he tell me he was single, but I also discovered that he had an apartment — presumably for liaisons — that's he'd never told my client about. Another guy brazenly invited me to join him on his private yacht in Florida.

Frankly, sometimes the clients do say, "I don't consider it cheating unless there's sex". But I'm not willing to do anything physical. After the final encounter, I vanish from Cheater Dude's life and avoid his haunts. My recordings get passed along to the client. The guy is about to realise he's been had. I never hear his reaction and I wouldn't want to.

Strangely, this job hasn't sullied my view of men in general. I actually believe that most men don't deceive their partners. But the ones who do lie deserve to be caught — and I'm glad to be the one empowering women with the information they need to decide whether to move on.

PLUS: Cheat-proof your relationship!