my boyfriend branded me a sex pest!

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Fleur Ritchie: My boyfriend branded me a sex pest!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Fleur Ritchie: My boyfriend branded me a sex pest!

Last night my boyfriend jokingly branded me a sex pest! I kid you - he actually used the words: "you are a sex pest". As if that wasn't enough, when I argued that I most certainly was not, he said, "Come on, baby… you are; you are like a predator, the great white shark of sexual being."

Indignant I asked him if he felt pressured to have sex. Sensing the dramatic reaction that was festering inside me he replied, "Of course not darling, I just think our libidos are slightly mismatched. I mean, I'm a once-a-day man; once a day keeps me very happy… whereas you, my adorable little sex pest, would be happy if I was boning you from when you wake up til when you go to sleep, possibly even before you wake up so you could start the day like that."

With mock horror on my face I asked if this was such a terrible problem for him to have - a girlfriend who is up for it any time of the day or night. Placating me, he said, "Of course it's not a problem, but it does make you a sex pest."

Feeling the need to plead my case I presented my closing argument: "Firstly my dearest, there are men whose ladies only spread their peachy thighs once in a blue moon, so you should be grateful. Secondly, I had a previous relationship where sex was a twice a year occurrence, so think of it this way - if you were to take a poor starving child from a famine ravaged nation to McDonalds and put in front of them a veritable feast of delectable mouth-watering adventure, do you think they would just want one burger per day?"

Case closed and satisfied that calling me a sex pest is an appalling notion, I looked at my beloved with a twinkle in my eye and said, "Shall we go and light the sex candles?"

So tell me readers, are you a once-a-day kind of girl/guy - or does your partner think you could use some sex pest control?

Tags: sex and the cosmo girl , fleur ritchie , sex blogger , sex pest

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Comments

Posted 03 mar 2012 by Ebbz101 | Report this comment

my boyfriend calls me a sex phyne, (basically the same thing) because when ever we get to see each other we have sex. i said if its a problem i can just stop putting out, he just laughed and said he didn't care.. secretly he's as much of a phyne as i am!
Posted 14 jan 2012 by rochelleanne | Report this comment

I used to get this too with my ex-boyfriend lol.... At times we'd argue because he'd just not give it up when I wanted it and I'd get it 3-4 times a week. (Btw, this is not the reason as him being my ex, LOL!)
Posted 29 dec 2011 by PatRiarchie | Report this comment

Well, nestle, I wouldn't expect you to understand noting you are female. Have a look at comments in this mag by females about men. The vast majority are hateful towards men. We know that females have been demanding to be treated equally for 50 years. So I do as you demand. Then you reckon it's ME who has the problem. Females are idiots aren't they. But the difference between me and females is that I use FACTS rather than opinion. Please tell me if I have ever said ANYTHING that is not TRUE.
Posted 28 dec 2011 by nestle | Report this comment

My question to PatRiarchie, is why if you obviously do not like women are you browsing a womens magazine website. Quite regularaly baised on your comments. All off which are quite hateful towards women. What is your problem. Even you reply to Crox12 doesn't make sense. Stop wasting your time, because we can't take you seriously.
Posted 22 dec 2011 by PatRiarchie | Report this comment

But Crox12, it's what you demand. You demand to be treated equally so that's what I do
Posted 22 dec 2011 by PatRiarchie | Report this comment

Well you demand to be treated equally don't you Crox12?
Posted 22 dec 2011 by Crox12 | Report this comment

Is it your job to just write negative comments all over this website? You've obviously had a bad experience with a woman.... And i honestly can see why. Get over your woman hating attitude.
Posted 20 dec 2011 by PatRiarchie | Report this comment

"Firstly my dearest, there are men whose ladies only spread their peachy thighs once in a blue moon, so you should be grateful." And that says it ALL. A man should be grateful for sex. There are men as described by Bettina Arndt who haven't had sex for more than a decade. The same can't be said for the wife. Stuff you lot. My chances of getting one of those peachy thigh things is 75%. Odds aren't good enuff for me. You pathetic females are lucky a man would give you the time of day. And you wonder why men don't want you. Idiots.

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