Tara O'Sullivan: Should we be dating more and mating less?
Once a upon a time when dinosaurs still roamed the earth, before mobile phones and Broadband, a time without Facebook and Twitter (I know, unimaginable!) there existed a little thing called romance. Romance, my dear readers, was used between males and females as a way of courting one another. Back when the Spice Girls were in nappies and the world was Beiber-less, a man employed an array of techniques in order to woo his chosen female. Such tactics may have included: arriving at the lady's house bearing flowers, conversing with her parents for the time it takes for the father to be at ease that his offspring will be in safe hands, finishing the evening by walking the lady to her front door, a simple good night kiss.
Now of course romance did not end after the first few dates; the
male knew that in order to make his affections known, he must
demonstrate his feelings. This was achieved through conversation,
gifts, poetry, letters and spontaneous moonlit walks on the beach.
Sex was saved until a level of trust and familiarity had grown
between the pair of lovebirds.
What a time that must have been! It may seem all very "olden days"
to us Gen-Y bunnies, but I think there might be something to this
whole romance thing.
Imagine being courted... to have someone show such respect and
care towards you. Gosh, the last date I went on the guy confessed
after three beers he really didn't care who he went home with, and,
I certainly have never received flowers on a first date. I'm so
used to following the "date + date = mate" formula, that I've
forgotten what dating is all about. I'm embarrassed to admit that
there is a part of me that believes if I don't jump under the
covers on the second date, then he will surely grow bored and think
it's all just too much trouble. How bad is that! Do I really think
I'm not worth the effort and time, or am I so used to living in a
culture of one night stands and friends with benefits, that sex has
lost its intimacy and romance is dead? No longer is there an
expectation of commitment after intercourse, in fact some of us
ladies pride ourselves on doing the very opposite.
So I ask you, in an age of porn and pole dancing; of sexing like
men and 20 ways to max your climax... are we missing out on what
really counts? Maybe it's time to bring back Loving Like A Lady and
make those gents work for it. Perhaps two drinks at the pub and a
takeaway just isn't enough anymore to make you want to set up camp
under his doona. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against the wonder of
the one nighter, but just sometimes wouldn't it be nice to be
treated for more than just sum of our parts?
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