Tara O'Sullivan: Textual intercourse...
I have a crush. A big, pre-teen, butterflies in the tummy,
crush. Smiling like a Cheshire cat, I bubble girly giddiness over
all who dares approach. I happily divulge our textual commentary to
anyone within earshot and my friends have become tired of pausing
conservations while I take his call... for an hour.
I am intolerable to even myself.
But here's the thing, I haven't actually met him... well, in
person.
In a distant age this may have seem weird, but given we live in a
world where we can order a Russian bride, become a priest or stalk
our handsome neighbour all from the discreet comfort of our PC, I
hardly think I deserve a raised brow. Just because I haven't sat
opposite my beloved in a dimly-lit setting wearing an outfit that
took three hours and four friends to put together, doesn't mean I
know nothing about him? Does it?
We have text, poked, tweeted, (Facebook) stalked and spent hours
chatting by phone into the wee hours of a new romantic morning.
Making use of modern day social media, I have pieced together a
profile of my sexual subject that would make Horatio from CSI
proud. I trawl through tagged pictures looking for evidence of
piercings or a third nipple, go over texts and emails with my
humour comb looking for traces of shared idiosyncrasies and find
delight in common ground. My flirty fingers fire off
witty-while-appropriately-suggestive replies to his instant message
chit-chat. I have even sprung a quick word association game on him
to root out undetected psychopathic habits. And so far, he's passed
with flying colours. Phew.
So the question is: why am I so worried about ACTUALLY meeting
him? Have I been relying so heavily on technology to create
familiarity with my newfound Prince Charming, that I'm worried the
reality might not match up? Or is it more likely that he might find
out I'm not entirely the same person in real life as I am online?
(I've strategically left out the fact that I grind my teeth and
night and enjoy a Sunday session of country music.)
I've allowed internet intimacy to take over and now worry my
'sexy' cyberself will fall short. Using only the building blocks of
digital communications it's very easy to fill in the gaps with what
we believe would build the perfect guy... but what if we are just
misinterpreting the text?
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