ScarJo Gets Engaged!
Don't shoot the messengers
URGENT MEMO
To: Men of the World
Subject: ScarJo gets a rock
Dear Men of the World,
It has come to our attention that Scarlett Johansson is officially off the market (yes, we even checked with Wikipedia). After less than a year of dating, she’s accepted Ryan Reynolds’s marriage proposal.
We understand that this must be a difficult time for you (and, undoubtedly, for Woody Allen, who surely had his beady little eyes on Scarlett). While Scarlett has joked in the past that she was ‘engaged’ to US presidential candidate Barack Obama, unfortunately, she is very serious this time.
Scarlett is set to make an appearance at tonight’s Metropolitan Museum Costume Institute Gala in New York City (should you wish to confirm the rumours in person). If you would like to kick Ryan’s butt, you can find him filming The Proposal (yes, yes, we know) in Canada. Good luck.
Sincerely,
The Cosmo Kids