Sex

10 signs he wants a blow job

Does he have a functioning penis?

By: Frank Kobola

1. He's getting tired during sex and is trying to blow job Inception you. He's giving you puppy dog eyes and complaining that his back is giving out. "There must be another way..." he says, looking out the window all melancholically.

2. You say you're on your period, and he's awkwardly like, "Well, we could… " Even if you don't want to have period sex, he still has needs. Crazy-horny needs.

3. He's describing a porn he liked for no discernable reason. Why is he telling you about this porn he thought was super hot? Oh, because it involves a crazy inverted blow job. That he wants to try. With you.

4. During sex, he says, "Maybe if you put your mouth on it?" He refuses to call it a blow job, but he wants to put his penis near your mouth and just kind of see what happens. The mouth sex version of "just the tip."

5. He asks you where he can come. "Just suggest some places real quick that are your mouth. I hope it's your mouth."

6. He goes down on you and then says, "Your turn." I scratch your back, you scratch mine suck on my penis.

7. He runs over when you're tying your shoes. He gets his crotch really close to your face and then says, "Haha, just kidding," but you can see in his eyes that he's never been more serious in his entire life.

8. He's sick but just wants you to join him in bed. "Babe, I have a fever and the biggest boner, what do we do?" This is somehow your problem now and he probably isn't that concerned about the fever.

9. He talks about how it's been forever. He wistfully mentions blow jobs like they're an old friend he used to ride bikes with to get ice cream.

10. He's conscious. If he isn't comatose, he wants a blow job.

  • Author: Frank Kobola