Sex

14 signs you're getting the best sex of your life

When you come, it's some The Notebook type shit, but it's happening to you for real.

By: Lane Moore

1. He always makes sure you come first. Like literally. And when you do come, it's some The Notebook type shit but it's happening to you for real and you can't even believe it.

2. He reciprocates oral sex. No one's keeping score or anything but he loves going down on you and does it often and well. And for bonus points, he actually goes down on you way more often then you go down on him, thus making up for the hoards of inferior boyfriends who never, ever, ever went down on you because they were the worst.

3. He doesn't make fun of your fantasies. You feel completely comfortable talking about things you might wanna try. Even if he isn't up for dressing up like a unicorn while you guys snog in a bathtub, you don't feel like a tool for bringing it up.

4. He doesn't ignore your non-vagina erogenous zones. Oh also, he knows what your non-vagina erogenous zones are without having to Google them and that they're just as important, if not moreso, than your vag.

5. He doesn't feel threatened by your vibrator. You know you're with some kind of sex genius when he's not threatened by your seriously incredible vibrator because he knows it doesn't compare to what he can do, and you know it too.

6. He's up for trying new things. "You want me to try an anal plug while we have sex in an airshaft? OK, sure," is a thing you can actually imagine him saying.

7. He never makes you feel weird about your body. Ever. And compliments you so often that no matter what time of month or year it is, if you've gained or lost weight, you feel so much like Beyoncé when you're with him that you're pretty sure you could score a modeling deal if you wanted to.

8. He doesn't push your head near his penis. Because he knows this is psychotic. Talk about potentially triggering, super intrusive, and very presumptuous. You know what else works? Asking. Your guy knows all of this and he would never pull that shit.

9. He kisses you after oral sex. Doesn't matter who gave or received, he knows that you guys are together and body fluids are all part of the deal. He's not grossed out by your body or his.

10. He stops when you say stop. This shouldn't make someone a sex god or a saint because it's something everyone should do, but your guy is great because you know he will practically run out your front door if you tell him no. Solid dude.

11. He's so big on consent it borders on annoying. And that's a great thing! He's so concerned with making sure you wanna do every single thing you're doing together that you almost wish he'd shut up already, but you're also super glad he cares.

12. You tell him he's the best you've ever had and you're not lying. Like you're really, really not lying. Like you've thought about him when you masturbated and you guys are freaking together. Like that.

13. You don't even want to get up to pee afterward, ever though you know you should. Like, I know UTIs, blah, blah, blah, pee after sex because whatever but also I could just lie in bed with the guy I just had sex with because we might have sex again. Oh, I wonder which one I will choose. Possibility of having sex again? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!

14. You almost want to cancel date night and just skip right to the bedroom. Garçon, this dinner is divine and I would love to sit here and sip champagne for the next eight hours, truly I would, but you have a penis and hands and a mouth and know what to do with them so...

  • Author: Lane Moore