1. As if anyone actually stands there stark nekkid before sexy times to inspect and approve of each other's bods like they do in Friends with Benefits. AWKS, much?
2 / 15
2. 40 Days and 40 Nights gave us unrealistic expectations of what our own flora was capable of achieving during coitus because NO ONE would orgasm over a flower (except for maybe a bee?).
3 / 15
3. Having sex up against a bookshelf like Robbie and Cecilia in Atonement is not real life. A. Those books would be hella dusty and that's gross. And B. Books would normally fall if someone was banging up against them, would they not? Then again, that is one sturdy library. But don't get any ideas, regular library shelves are not this strong.
4 / 15
4. Ghost didn't do our sex lives any favours when they portrayed pottery as an aphrodisiac. Although, if our bed buddy came to craft class with us, maybe we would be keen to get kinky afterwards.
5 / 15
5. Since when did ejaculation create a fountain so strong it could shoot you to the ceiling? Also bats won't fly out of your underwear when they're taken off for sexy times. And no one will attempt to trim your pubic hair with a chainsaw. GOSH Scary Movie.
6 / 15
6. Of course James Bond can somehow have perfectly normal sex in a shower during Skyfall. But we all know shower sex is the worst. For a start, it's a freakin' slippery danger zone (and not the good kind of slip), and the water washes away all of your natural lubrication. BOOOOOOOO.
7 / 15
7. Pool orgies are also a load of C-to-the-R-ap because natural lube does not exist underwater in the real world like it clearly does in Springbreakers. Also, you risk all that yucky water going up your vajayjay and well, UTI City.
8 / 15
8. Blood during sex can happen. But not in a Gone Girl murder kinda way.
9 / 15
9. Or how about when Allie has sex for the first time ever in The Notebook and she LOVES it so much, she wants to do it again? We're not convinced women are keen for round two immediately after losing their virginity... OUCH.
10 / 15
10. Somehow, without any foreplay, Alex is all of a sudden just ready to rumble with Jimmy in a warehouse of all places? Really, 8 Mile, REALLY?
11 / 15
11. The threesome-turned-orgy scene in Zoolander with countless completely random cameos and a howling Owen Wilson? We just don't buy it.
12 / 15
12. Having sex under the sheets is a totally claustrophic, no-air-to-breathe experience. So for that reason, we don't recommend channelling Romeo and Juliet.
13 / 15
13. There's Leo again, having completely unrealistic sex in a car in Titanic. We all know car sex is THE WORST. For a start, you're limited for space, you'll probs bump your head, and the car gets all steamy, meaning, you can't keep watch for pervy onlookers or officers of the law and such.
14 / 15
14. According to a few peeps I know who're well-versed in BDSM, the 50 Shades of Grey sex scenes are blatantly inaccurate regarding serious BDSM. So there.
15 / 15
15. Holding guns up to each other before sex would definitely make us anxious and therefore probably not in the mood for some lovin'. Please explain, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.