Even the best sex can have some humps (pun intended) to get over. For every intense orgasm, there's an ill-timed burp. Don't sweat it if every so often, your sex life gets peppered with a few of these hangups.
1. Awkwardly jabbing each other with your elbows. You're making out, things are getting serious, and then you're suddenly kneeing each other in the groin or you elbow his ribs while you're rolling around on the bed.
2. Making that weird wet skin noise. You're hot, you're sweaty, and suddenly your skin makes that squelching noise you can't help but laugh at as you rub up against each other.
3. Fumbling with a bra. No matter how many bras you've taken off (or had taken off you), you're going to hit that one enigma-machine-level bra that causes you to fumble awkwardly in the dark. The movies never have a scene where the female lead has to sigh, "Stop. Just let me do it," but it happens to the best of us.
4. Getting all gassy. Holding a burp in is one thing. Trying to hold it in when you're engaged in some pretty rigorous sexercise is another. Just try and make it seem like a really loud, gutteral moan.
5. Getting cramps at the worst possible moment. Unless you're spending some serious time in yoga classes, you might suddenly have your muscles betray you in the middle of some intense sex. Just walk (hump?) it off.
6. Missing ... everything. Miss what? Everything. Each other's mouths, the right hole, anything. Don't let knocking foreheads ruin your good time.
7. Totally misreading the sex position. It's great when the sex is so passionate you wordlessly switch positions. But sometimes, instead, you're thinking doggy style while he's thinking missionary, and suddenly you're trying to sexily explain to him that he's an idiot.
8. Ripping the first condom. It's on aaaand it's flying through the air. Let's try that again.
9. Trying to ignore the need to pee. You're not sure if you can hold it until you both orgasm, or if you're betting off rolling out of the bed and sprinting toward the bathroom. If you decide to tough it out, you risk things getting way, way worse (and, if you're a girl, a UTI).
10. Having it pop out. And it makes a noise. Just tuck it right back in and keep going, and don't think about the fact that it sounded like popping your finger against your cheek.
11. Not knowing where it landed. He came and you have no idea where it went. It could be on the wall, in the carpet, in your hair. You might discover it during spring cleaning next year.
12. Or even worse, knowing exactly where it landed. IT IS IN YOUR EYE. IT IS IN YOUR EYE AND IT HURTS.