The first sleepover with a guy is rarely (ever!?) the best sex you’ll have with him. Like opening night, there are a few fumbles, missed curtain calls, forgotten lines and awkward moves. No biggie because he will get to learn what you like, right? Sure, but he won’t get anywhere without you pointing him in the right direction. But the problem with teaching a dog new tricks is it can start to feel like a coaching sesh. That’s why sexpert Dr Nikki Goldstein has a few clever tips that’ll have him giving you A+ orgasms without a PowerPoint presentation.
How to teach him new tricks:
Never criticise or scold him for something he is doing wrong. If confidence is sexy, then you should know turning him into a broken husk is not. Nothing will make him less in the mood to perform than being embarrassed or humiliated.
Make subtle suggestions instead of direct instructions. You’re not a general ordering around one of your troops - that would be super weird and wrong - so don’t get bossy. If you’re both into telling him what to do, then go ahead. But for everyone else, try: “I like it when you do this…” instead of “Go harder, slower, left, right, no my right!”
When you make suggestions, turn them into seductive statements with a slight brush of his skin with your hand: "Honey it really turns me on when..." He should pick up what you’re putting down.
Before you ever give a suggestion make sure you reassure him how sexy and amazing he is in bed. There’s no need to be condescending (“that’s a good boy”), but everyone likes to know they are doing a good job. If you give his a confidence a boost, he’ll be more open to experimenting.
Let hands do the talking. You don’t always have to tell him; sometimes it’s better to guide him by grabbing his hands and placing them on the right spots.
Demonstrate what you like. Self-pleasuring is a girl's best friend: you get an orgasm and h learns how you like it and he’ll be seriously turned on. Everyone wins!
If you’re concerned about him getting offended, praise him for the things he is doing right first. If he is a sensitive soul, make sure he knows he’s doing a good job in the first place. Then even if your suggestions knock him down a peg or two, he will still be puffed up with pride. No harm, no foul, and there’s a better chance of him listening if you buffer a suggestion in between compliments.
When he does do something right, make sure you groan and moan and let him know you’re enjoying it. Exaggerate the body's natural sexual response. This isn’t faking an orgasm: tenses, groaning screaming can let him know how you feel when he does something right.
Send him a link. Not quite sure how to word it or show it? You can direct him to literature or media: “I found this today and I really think I want to try it with you, what do you think?"
Swap fantasy statements. Take turns sharing one fantasy at a time. You can bother find out what each other really desires.