Most of us have some issues with stripping down to our birthday suit in front of others (everyone except Miley Cyrus, if her Wrecking Ball video clip is anything to go by), even if it is your BF of two years. But do you feel so down about your bod that you spend your sexy times wondering what your tummy looks like from certain angles? That’s the kind of poor body image that could stop you from having an awesome time in the sack. And that’s an absolute travesty.
According to sex and relationship expert Isiah McKimmie, it’s natural to have some issues with your body. That is, as long as generally you’re happy enough in your skin. “We’re always going to find something about ourselves that we might like to change,” she explains. “But the way you feel about your body is what determines how sexy you’ll feel on a day-to-day basis.”
And it seems the daily sexiness levels of us ladies are at an all-time low. A 2010 University of Queensland study of Australian women found that 80 percent of us are unhappy with our bodies and 90 percent knew of other women who were unhappy about theirs. Depressing, huh? And it turns out thinking. “I’ll feel sexy in the bedroom if I lose more weight…” is SO not going to make you feel like a bombshell in the boudoir.
Why? “This way of thinking is actually a myth. Feeling sexy isn’t about the way you look, it’s about how you feel,” says Isiah. “But it’s important to know that your body changing won’t make you feel sexier; your mind changing will.”
Plus, feeling sh*y about the way you look will be a total downer in the bedroom, even if you don’t realise it. “When we have bad body image, it affects your willingness to have someone else see your body and you’ll be caught up in what you think the other person is thinking about your body, rather enjoying it,” says Isiah. Doesn’t sound like fun huh?
Not only that, guys can totally tell when you’re feeling bad about yourself. “The person that you’re with can pick up that you’re not comfy. Many of the men I speak with tell me it’s a total turn off when a woman is worrying about their thighs. They don’t want someone with a perfect body, they want you,” Isiah explains. Newsflash: if you’re in a position where you’re naked with a guy, you can be damn sure he’s happy with your body!
But we get it, feeling sexier in the bedroom is easier said than done. Try to build up your body confidence by picking one thing you like about yourself (whether it’s your eyes or your bum) and add to that list every day. It’ll help you to focus on the positives. “Also, investing in some sexy lingerie, even if no one sees it, will make you feel special during the day,” suggest Isiah.
Another reason you’d want to feel better about your body in the sack? “Confidence is sexy and people who have poor body image are less likely to experiment in the bedroom,” says Isiah. Better confidence = better sex. And who doesn’t want that?