A new study claims that faking orgasms doesn’t really = bad sex. Actually, quite the opposite.
The research, published in the Journal of Sexual Archives, claims that women fake the big O in an attempt to increase their own arousal, rather than to wind up boring old sex.
Scientists from Temple University and Kenyon College tested the theory that when women faux-gasm it is actually a positive thing as it’s “relationship promoting and pleasure-enhancing,” rather than just to stroke a man’s ego or to get things over with.
To do so, they created The Faking Orgasm Scale for Women, and asked sexually active chicks to rate themselves accordingly. The four stages of the scale were:
1) Altruistic deceit (faking it to make your guy feel better)
2) Fear and insecurity (faking it to avoid negative emotions)
3) Elevated arousal (faking it to turn yourself on)
4) Sexual adjournment (faking it because you want him to get off you already)
The experiment surveyed 481 heterosexual, undergraduate females with an average age of 20.
The most popular reason cited for the fake-climax was altruistic deficit, followed by fear and insecurity, then elevated arousal and lastly sexual adjournment. Meaning that while it wasn’t the most popular reason for faking, personal pleasure was more common than the negative option of getting things over with.
"What is unique about the Faking Orgasm Scale for Women is that, for the first time, we have quantitative evidence suggesting women may also fake orgasm for far more 'selfish' reasons, like increasing their own arousal," Erin Cooper, who co-authored the study, told HuffPost Women.
"Deciding to fake orgasm for this motive may have little to nothing to do with a woman's partner and his sexual experience. I view this strategy as one of the many 'tools in the toolbox' women may use to enhance their own sexual experience."
Sexpert Isiah McKimmie from Passionate Spirit Coaching tells us that there are lots of different kinds of ‘faking it’. But even though it may sometimes be for our own personal pleasure, if it’s an ongoing issue, it needs to be addressed.
“Sometimes we can 'play up' an experience to heighten it, though I think if we're always faking and not having important conversations with our partner about what it actually going on then we have a problem. Many couples struggle to have 'real' conversations about sex,” she explains.
“But I also think 'faking orgasm' is also indicative of the pressure our culture puts on 'reaching the goal' rather than just feeling connected to each other and really enjoying what is happening.”
Isiah also puts blame on unrealistic Hollywood sex scenes for skewing our ideas about how long it takes to reach an orgasm. (Apparently it doesn’t just take four seconds after he ducks his head under the covers, who knew?!)
“One of the biggest reasons women fail to reach orgasm is because they just don't spend enough time warming up. Hollywood and porn give women the idea that they should be ready for sex at a moment's notice and should have multiple orgasms in 5 minutes,” she says.
“This just isn't a reality - it takes women's bodies about 20 minutes to fully prepare for sex, so if foreplay is lasting less than that it's going to really reduce their chances of reaching orgasm.”