Sex

Don’t feel sorry for me because I’m single!

Newsflash: it’s by choice…

By: Tara O'Sullivan
Woman eating ice cream

People ask me questions about my boyfriend all the time. How did we meet? What does he do for work? Will we get married? Do we have super kinky sex that involves pineapples and cooking oil? It’s then super awkward to burst their romantic bubble and break the news that…I’m single.

After the initial shock of my solitary situation wears off, the questions begin again.

How long have I been single? Why am I single? And my favorite: what’s wrong with you... there HAS to be something wrong with you?

My poor parents also cop it a lot. Whispered voices down the telephone line, “Soooo has Tara found a boyfriend yet?” Like it’s all just a silly game of hide-and-seek!

The concern for my wellbeing as a single person is outrageous. It’s as though not having a partner somehow makes me odd, unfortunate and someone to be pitied. Why do some people assume that not being in a relationship makes me miserable and incomplete? I know many peeps with partners that spend more time angry and upset than almost of my single friends.

The truth is I am actually very happily single. In fact, I have chosen to be single for a while now for that very purpose, to work on being happy, single. For many of us love has a way of bashing us up a bit and quite often we are left a little bruised and broken if things don’t work out. A bit of “me time” after a relationship is over can be just what the doc ordered. It allows us the freedom to make ourselves strong and healthy again and stops us from dragging our wounded souls straight into another bed.

And being single doesn’t have to mean being alone. I am surrounded by all sorts of wonderful relationships. I have friends, occasional lovers, supportive ex-boyfriends and my family. I also enjoy dating. But am I desperately searching to find “the one”? Hell no!

I’m still growing and learning and working out who I am and what I want and that feels great to me.

And if one day a deliciously delectable man comes along and makes my heart sing and we get to share a cool life together, then that’s great, but in the mean time I’ve got me and that’s pretty darn wonderful too.

Who out there loves their single life too? I wanna hear from you sisters! Tweet me @MissTara_O

  • Author: Tara O'Sullivan