How many times have you talked your girlfriends out of meeting up with their ex-boyfriends because you know it’s definitely going to result in sex? Probably amazing, post-breakup sex to be precise. We’ve been trained to believe that sleeping with exes is bound to result in an opened can of (painful emotional) worms, right? But it’s time to forget everything you think you know about ex-sex because a new study is saying you should totally go there.
Say what?! We know, it sounds crazy, right? You’ve just gotten over this guy who potentially broke your heart and now we’re telling you to jump into bed with him. But hear us out – a study conducted by the University of Arizona and published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology has found that sex with your former lover can actually ease the heartache of the breakup.
The researchers studied a group of 137 recently divorced adults and collated how many of them had the occasional post-breakup session between the sheets. They found that 21.9 percent of the group had sex with their ex and 82.5 percent remained in touch with them.
For partners who hadn’t come to grips with the breakup, sex with their ex actually helped to lessen their heartache. The research also found that for partners who were over the breakup, ex-sex made no difference whatsoever in how they were dealing with things. The verdict? We totally give you the green light to have sex with your ex-BF.
“You need to be cautious about sex with your ex. If you’re hoping to get back together and your ex is over it, then you’re going to be torturing yourself. You’re always going to have a connection together and if your sex life was good it’s a great drawcard for having sex with your ex,” says relationship expert Susie Tuckwell.
But remember, there’s a reason you broke up with your ex. “You need to tread with caution. It might ease the pain of the breakup at first, but eventually it could be stopping you from moving on and finding someone who is worth actually being in a relationship with. Plus, while you might not realise it, sleeping with your ex might give you false hope that you could rekindle your flame,” says Susie.
Would you have sex with your ex in light of this new research?