For centuries (we presume), women have relied on their uncanny ability to put on a “good show” for their partner even if it just wasn’t happening for them. Turns out, guys are pretty good at sussing out whether we’re pulling their proverbial leg (or, third leg if you will).
Researchers at Canada’s University of Waterloo reckon it all comes down to your communication. The author of a study on the matter, Erin Fallis, reckons “having good communication about sexual issues helped participants to understand their partners’ sexual satisfaction.”
“However, even if sexual communication was lacking, a person could still be fairly accurate in gauging his or her partner’s sexual satisfaction if he or she was able to read emotions well,” says Fallis.
The research took place with 84 couples, separating each and then questioning the individuals on their relationship and sexual satisfaction, sexual communication, commitment and ability to read emotions.
Psychologists say there’s this thing called a “sexual script” and it forms the guidelines for a couple’s sex life. “We believe that having the ability to accurately gauge each other’s sexual satisfaction will help partners to develop sexual scripts that they both enjoy,” says Fallis.
Men may be from Mars, and women from Venus, but apparently understanding each other isn’t as difficult as we’ve been taught to believe.
Cosmo spoke to Sexologist and Relationship Expert Dr. Nikki Goldstein, who says there can be a benefit in faking it, “A man's ego can be so closely tied to his sexual performance so sometimes it might be best to give him a performance for his ego's sake.”
“Women can be in a mood or in a head space where no matter what moves their partner is pulling out of the sexual tool box it won't get them over the edge. They might be OK with it, but their partner's ego isn't,” Goldstein says.
But that doesn’t mean it’s OK to fake it on the reg.
“If you find yourself in a position where faking it has become the norm, then it's time to have that (probably awkward) conversation with your partner. There is no point continuing on when an orgasm is nowhere in sight - guide him don't correct him.”
Short version? It’s OK to fake it sometimes, but not all the time (and your partner is probably going to know you faked it anyway).