Forsaking the fake...

In the spirit of Cosmo’s International Don’t Fake It Day on November 4, I have a confession...

By: Tara O'Sullivan

OK, deep breath... Wait, maybe you should sit down for this. Here I go. I, Tara O’Sullivan, very rarely, almost never, achieve an orgasm when engaging in the humpy-bumpy with a new partner. Yes, for as long as my lower regions have granted foreign members a visiting pass, I have been guilty of the big fat FAKE. There I said it. It’s out.

Now, before all my lover boys out there race around screaming "What? Complete lies! You came like four times with me!", it's OK, I'm not talking about you. You were amazing, you took my body places I never knew existed. You are a sex god... Oh crap, I've done it again; I just cyber-faked it! See, for many years I never wanted to be the girl to tell a guy he wasn't 'all that' in the sack. After 10 minutes of bumping bits it's usually pretty clear when it's not going to happen. It always seems better (for both parties) to let out one beautifully crafted, throaty purr of pleasure so it's all over and done with. Now that doesn't mean I'm a serial faker. I have enjoyed many a wonderful, knee-trembling orgasms. But usually only whilst in a relationship. It seems that although I enjoy playtime with semi-strangers, I never really get to finish. Instead I cheat by throwing back my head and making them believe they just totally rocked my sexual world. I don't want them to feel inadequate, I don't want to appear inadequate... now can we cuddle? But now the truth comes out: I am not alone! A close girlfriend admitted to never having an orgasm with a partner, and that if there was Oscar for Best Female Climax... well, she was definitely a front runner. Another friend, after re-enacting her latest shag-nanagians and looking more like she was on a very scary rollercoaster, said she had to fake it just so she could catch her breath. I questioned if she wasn't enjoying 'the ride' then why not calmly assert herself and say, "Excuse me, but I'd like to get off now". Her reply echoed my own; she simply didn't want to be the one to tell him it wasn't working for her.

So ladies, if I'm doing it, those girls are doing it, and let's say a few of you reading this also do it... Where and when will it end? If guys are constantly getting an A+ on their sexual report card, how will they ever know what really makes us curl our toes. If we have taken the time to become familiar with our female bits and can summit Mt Climaxus on our own, surely we can translate this to our partner? Or maybe we believe the other pleasantries we receive from sharing our beds are actually enough to warrant a few fakes here and there. For me, the pay-off of reaching an orgasm is not as highly held as enjoying the closeness, the cuddles and the general feeling of sexiness that comes from a little hanky-panky. Whether or not I orgasm, it does not diminish the loveliness of a little lurve-making. Sometime those damn things are just too elusive... But it certainly doesn't make the whole act any less fun. What do you think? Do you believe we should be handing out pointers from Clitoris Class 101 to every sexual partner? Or is the big O not such a big deal?

  • Author: Tara O'Sullivan