Dating someone who comes from a faraway land can be awesome, right? (Hello: cute accents!) But there’s just one (gigantic) catch with dating someone who’s from/lives in another country: distance. The same goes for couples who get separated by chunks of ocean when they accept a too-good-to-refuse job opportunity – there’s just something about different time zones that is the antithesis of sexy, right? But don’t stress, distance does NOT mean the end of your relationship or your sex life, here’s how to make it work…
You both need to want it
Ugh, being apart from your man can be seriously heart wrenching but it can be even more so if you discover he’s not as keen to maintain the relationship while he’s away. The lesson? Before either of you stamps your passport, make sure you’ve spelled out your relationship boundaries and what you really want to do in this sitch. If you’re not overly convinced you want to be in a relationship while abroad, it’s the time to raise the topic and save yourself heartache. “Where there's a will there's a way! Both of you need to believe this time apart is necessary, and that there will be a time where you’ll be together again,” says sex and relationship expert Susie Tuckwell.
Being in different continents can make sex and intimacy a little (read: VERY) difficult and can be frustrating for both of you. OK, so while there’s nothing better than actual sex, an internet connection will be your best (sexy) friend in a long distance relationship. “Have phone sex, Skype sex or write dirty texts to him. It’s a great way to combat the distance,” urges Susie. Plus, if you’re feeling sexy, be sure to let him know. “Just because you’re apart doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still share sexy desires and longings. Plus, being apart means you have to work a little harder in communicating this,” says Susie.
Frustrating with a capital F
Not having your partner around to support you, hug you, kiss you and share the little things in your life sucks. Big time. And ironically, when we get mad about not seeing our BF, we end up getting mad at said BF. “It’s OK to share your frustrations, since the frustration is a compliment that says, ‘I want you here and now.’ But never blame them - you have to trust your partner wants to be with you as much as you want them,” says Susie. Plus, you agreed to this situation in the first place, so rather than lash out at your partner, tell him how you’re feeling.
Keep him close
Yep, different countries and time zones means that it’s not always that easy to talk, let alone text, each other. But it’s super important that you try to maintain the bond you have. “Feed the sense of emotional closeness by sharing intimate events that happen in your day and your thoughts and feelings about anything,” says Susie. Nothing is too little or insignificant to tell him!