Let’s not beat around the bush: women are complex creatures. That’s why a diagram of the female body’s erogenous zones looks like a NYE fireworks display i.e. colour everywhere. With so many hot spots, you’d think guys couldn’t miss them and yet they do. This creates a two-fold problem: a) some of your touch-me areas are woefully unloved and b) how do you show him the way without directing him like you’re his own personal GPS (“In five centimetres, turn right at the belly button”)?
We all know the lady garden loves to be tended, but here are few other sections that need some TLC:
Your under-loved hot spots
The neck: “This area is extremely sensitive so it can feel amazing when you’re being kissed and touched,” says Relationship and Sex Expert Dr Nikki Goldstein.
Light kisses, gentle sucking or nibbling – be careful not to get a hickey – can all get you feeling hotter than the Kalahari Desert.
The lower back: “Touching, tickling or stroking your lower back is a strong move that can make you feel safe and secure because it’s so possessive,” says Goldstein.
You don’t need to wait until you’re naked in the bedroom for him to put his hands on you, when you’re out for dinner grab his hand and put it underneath your top, on the small of your back. It’ll have you tingling all over and ready to haul him into the bathroom for a quickie. As soon as you’re home, get him to nibble your whole body, inch by inch.
The elbow crease: “This area is really sensitive, just like your neck,” says Goldstein.
The poor little elbow crease never gets enough love, but having him bite you there can feel oh-so ah-mazing. Licking, sucking, nibbling… it’s all good … sorry, where were we?
The hands: “In Tantra, they say a lot of energy is transferred from the hands because you can really feel the heat of each other’s body through them.” says Goldstein.
The fingers are very receptive to touch, which is why touching and tickling them can feel soooo good, but there is a huge emotional element too. We hold hands when we’re kids so we associate it with safety and comfort. If you’re feeling a little vulnerable lying naked on your bed/sofa/dining table, holding hands can make you feel safe and confident. It’s a pretty intimate move, but it can also have a kinky edge if he’s restraining you by holding your hands against the bed.
The brain: When it comes to sex, the general rule is guys are visual while girls’ are more turned on by the mental. Get him talking dirty, because ideas can be just as hot as what’s happening in real time.
How to direct him to your nearest hot spot
“Everything comes down to communication, but the key is how you communicate it,” says Goldstein. “If you want him to do something, the rule is sexy suggestions followed by raunchy reinforcements.”
You don’t want to completely undercut his manhood by bossing him around – unless, he’s into that sort of thing – instead try to seed your idea in his head with a little flirty request: “you know what would really turn me on…”
Once he hits the spot, make sure he knows how much it really turns you on, by turning your moans up a notch. He wants you to enjoy it, so showing him that he’s getting you hot and heavy will make sure he’ll do it again.
If he isn’t getting the message, you can place his hands where you want them or show him with your own fingers – he might even like this method better!
But if all else fails and he just isn’t picking up what you’re putting down, you’ll need to tell him straight. After all, if he doesn’t know, how can he get better?