After one glass of prosecco, two glasses of wine and a vodka soda (standard on date night), who hasn’t said something she wouldn’t IRL (“Smack my arse and tell me I’m a bad girl!” for example) while assuming a complicated, unflattering position in bed. No? Just me?
Liquid courage can go a long way in terms of loosening inhibitions and giving us the body confidence of Jesinta Campbell. In fact a recent survey of 2835 women, by global online dating service C-Date, found that 55 percent prefer to have sex while tipsy.
Sex under the influence is often a little crazier, a little dirtier than what you get on your average Tuesday night. But the downside to a boozy session is that it’s harder to orgasm.
“Alcohol slows down your blood flow,” explains Tammy Nelson, author of Getting the Sex You Want: Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together. “That prevents blood from reaching nerve endings in your clitoris – which has to happen in order for an orgasm to occur.”
Not to mention, it’s all fun and games until you wake up the next day unable to remember your wild hook-up. Or worse, you do remember and realise last night’s striptease was more sloppy than seductive (which totally happened to “a friend” of mine – ahem).
So the question is, can you have the fun of drunk sex without drinking any alcohol? Yes – you can nstill get a little freaky, have a happy ending, and not want to crawl into a hole the next morning. Try these tips, and bottoms up (literally… depending on how you feel about that, of course).
Tease it out
Flirty banter over beers and a game of pool, hips grazing as you push your way up to the bar, those hungry eyes… drunk sex is marked by a heated build-up that culminates with banging into furniture, ripping each other’s clothes off, and tripping your way to bed.
Cultivate that lust-heavy feeling of anticipation by planting a sexy seed. “I texted my husband at work that I was wearing a red lace G-string he loves,” says Alexandra, 28. “We were champing at the bit by the time we got home.”
Whether it’s a look you give him in the pharmacy or a quick make-out session in the hallway, do something that serves as the appetiser to really wild, (faux) waste-y sex.
Try somewhere new
The novelty of getting it on in an out-of-the-ordinary space mimics the rush of alcohol-assisted sex. “I used to prefer drunk sex to sober sex, but since I’ve made the effort to have more sober sex, my boyfriend and I have been trying it in the craziest places – like on top of a picnic table by the lake,” says Ali, 22. “We replaced the adrenaline factor of getting drunk with the risk factor of getting caught.”
If you’re more of a play-it-safe kinda gal, do it in a different room of the house, in the shower, on the floor, or against the wall. Or try a hotel room – you’ll reap the novelty benefits, without having to explain yourselves to an officer of the law while half-naked.
Make a sexy playlist
When you’re liquored up, it’s easy to not give a damn. Whether you haven’t been to the gym in a while or you queef so loud your neighbours hear it, it’s NBD.
Channel that carefree attitude by creating an environment where the sex sounds aren’t skanky.
Music is a key part of that. “Silence can be scary,” says sex educator Jamye Waxman, co-author of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight. “When it’s quiet you hear the bed creaking, or focus on the weird sex sounds your bodies are making. Drown it out with a playlist that makes you want to move seductively.”
Unleash the bad girl within
The whole point of drinking before sex is to let go of your inhibitions, so do something that’ll signal to both of you things could get out of hand.
These moves work like Jäger-bombs: a well-timed expletive (“that feels so f*cking good” as he enters you); your nails in his back; or grabbing his hair while you kiss him.
Drunk sex is like really good cardio: you’re flushed, sweaty and out of breath. Initiate position changes to up the physicality – it’ll make him up the ante as well. That’s how you get to unrestrained, unself-conscious sex.