Heart vs Hormones

When it comes to sleeping with someone, do you listen to your heart or your hormones?

My mother would no doubt be happy to hear that I (like many girls) need some sort of connection with a guy in order to sleep with him. Not that I’m against the ‘overnight romance’ but Mum’s Catholic guilt has managed to seep in during my early years. But let’s be honest for a second here – there may have been some occasions where I’ve let this slide (sorry Mum) but, for me, the general rule of thumb is that I have to be emotionally or physically attracted to the guy AND I potentially see it going somewhere. Not-so-surprisingly, boys are usually not so picky. Although this is hardly breaking news for us, I recently discovered something when discussing this subject with my BMFF (Best Male Friend Forever) which certainly raised my eyebrows and, of course, I felt compelled to share. You may remember I mentioned in my last post that I had a second date lined up? Well, that turned out to be a big fat flop (story of my life). My BMFF questioned why I didn’t just sleep with the guy anyway as I was in “poor form” and “needed to lift my game” – meaning I was facing stage four water restrictions (which we all know is never a good sign). I explained that, unlike him, I needed something more than hormones to kick in before hitting the ‘smoosh room’ (apologies for the non-Jersey Shore fans) and his response was, in a rather condescending ‘don’t be so ridiculous’ tone, “Just pretend it’s someone else!” My BMFF then went on to explain that picturing Miranda Kerr is what most guys do during those one night stands they prefer to keep on the down-low. Ouch. He also gave me the “hot tip” that I could use this poor guy to try things I wouldn’t necessarily admit to having on my bedroom wish-list with a potential boyfriend (another tactic he brought into play with the off-the-record one night stands). So, if you haven’t worked it out already, boys can be ruthless! I feel it’s my feminist duty to warn all the women out there to take note of these two important warning signs. Next time you’re ‘smooshing’ with a guy you think might be The One:

  1. Make sure he’s looking into your eyes (and not calling you Miranda).
  2. If he’s pulling out the curly requests on the first intimate night with you, he probably won’t be back to meet the parents.But, for all those girls who love the overnight romance, power to you! I hope I’ve shared some new tricks. However, I still don’t think I’ve got it in me to continuously go heartless for hormones. But now it’s certainly got me thinking. Is there an art to the one night stand? Do I need to snap out of this archaic mode of thinking?