While we all know the female orgasm can be complicated (and sometimes hard to reach), we totally take it for granted that even if it only happens once, a guy's orgasm is a given. They have sex and they come, end of story. But it’s not so simple, they could be tired, drunk, stressed or all of the above and just not able to hit a home run. So what do they do when they’re expected to “get there”? They fake it.
That's right, according to Dr Abraham Morgentaler, the author of Why Men Fake It: The Totally Unexpected Truth, who spent 25 years researching the male orgasm, at least a third of guys fake an orgasm for the same reason some women do — to spare their partner’s feelings.
The problem is that we expect a guy to come ‘cos we think their orgasms are as simple as “in + out = OMG”. And when they don’t climax, a lot of us can take it personally. They might have had the day from Hell, but we’ll be wondering what we did wrong.
So rather than explain they’ve been stressed at work and that’s why they lost an erection — well, who wants to admit they were thinking about their job while doing the horizontal mambo — they’d rather fake it. And according to Morgentaler most women don’t notice, with two-thirds of the men he studied admitting they got away with it.
How do guys manage to hide it? The main reason is that most women don't expect guys to ever fake it. Besides, we’re hardly going to be getting our Sherlock Holmes on in bed, so most of us aren’t going to notice the lack of extra fluid and if they have a condom, they just need to get rid of it, fast.
But just because they come, doesn’t mean they come: the truth is that orgasms and ejaculation are two very different things:
“Ejaculate isn’t a true indication that he’s orgasmed anyway.
“He can ejaculate without having an orgasm or orgasm without ejaculating (though it takes a great deal of control and practice to achieve),” says Daily Mail’s sexpert Tracey Cox.
Now the cat’s out of the bag and we know that both sexes have faked it now and then, how about we all just start being more honest? We promise, it’ll be a lot easier than play-acting the big “O”, and a lot less awkward than getting busted for faking it.