Sex

Is your orgasm normal?

Boy meets girl, boy sleeps with girl, then boy makes girl climax. It all seems too easy. But does the reel deal compare to the real deal?

Is your orgasm normal?

You know the scene: boy meets girl, boy sleeps with girl, then boy makes girl climax. It all seems too easy. But does the reel deal compare to the real deal?

Watching romantic comedies, you might think all orgasms are a sweaty-but-glamorous chorus of “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Hollywood certainly makes climaxing seem oh-so easy. But in the real world, everyone’s O-moment is completely different.

Orgasms are curious, magical things, and we have so many questions: is my O-face ugly? Can the neighbours hear us? Is it weird if I have to imagine Ryan Gosling to get there?

Then there’s that most urgent pleasure query of all: how normal is my orgasm? Worry no longer!Cosmo has the, um, lowdown on what to expect.

How do I know if I’ve had an orgasm?

Orgasms, like anything, vary a lot. Your O will come somewhere between mildly pleasant and earth-shatteringly good on the pleasure spectrum. “Some women have orgasms and don’t even realise,” says Cosmo GP Dr Penny Adams. “The experience might not match your expectations after you’ve read inaccurate, exaggerated info or watched sex scenes in films. Having said that, they should feel really good.” To be sure, you should really practise orgasming. Like, a lot. You know, in the name of research.

How long should my orgasm last?

The average lady-gasm lasts seven to 10 seconds (long enough to recite his full name thrice – trust us, we timed it), which is a bit longer than the average man-gasm. Sex buddies of the male variety have four to six orgasmic contractions, but we have six to 10. Have we mentioned lately how much we love being women?

What is the shortest time an orgasm could last?

Between one and two seconds – just enough time for a quick, “Yes!”

How many different types of orgasm are there?

The most popular orgasm comes courtesy of the clitoris, when it’s directly stimulated. It can happen during actual intercourse too, especially when he hits your G-spot, a sensitive part on the front wall of your vagina. Some (lucky) women can even achieve orgasm while they’re dreaming.

Is everyone capable of orgasming?

Most are. “Thirty per cent of women can orgasm during vaginal sex alone, with no hands or toys to help,” says Dr Adams. “Forty per cent can orgasm during intercourse, if they or their partner stimulates their clitoris. Another 20 per cent can have an orgasm if they masturbate.” That leaves 10 per cent who can’t orgasm, and (alas) there’s no physical reason for it.

How often does the average woman orgasm?

Depends how often you get jiggy with it – solo, or with company. Most women are sometimes-orgasm folk, meaning few come every time they have sex. How you feel about yourself and your chosen partner can affect how often you climax: anxiety inhibits you, and feelings of love make it more intense. Of course you should also factor in whether you’re exhausted, unwell or with someone who could use some guidance on their technique.

Are there physical signs an orgasm is coming – a burning sensation or feeling like you might pee, that kind of thing?

When you’re heading for the big O, you might start to breathe deeper and faster as your heart rate climbs. “Some women feel a strong sensation like they might pee at the start of an orgasm,” explains Dr Adams. “So that’s a bad time to tell him to stop!”