Sex

12 things he wants you to know about oral sex

No. 7 is crucial

By: Frank Kobola

As someone who writes about sex for a living, I'm asked about blow jobs all the time. Every mouth is different, every penis is different, every man and woman is different. So it shouldn't surprise anyone that each and every blow job is going to be a different, specific experience too. I can't speak for every guy, but odds are most guys definitely want you to know several things on this list.

The most important thing to remember? If you're giving him a blow job in the first place, that's half the battle. He's already enjoying himself. Here's what else he wants you to know:

1. He just wants you to relax. Seriously. It's a blow job. He's just happy you're here and doing things with his penis. Don't get in your own head about it. I know that's basically what a football coach would say, but playing football and going down have a lot in common. For one, I hear they're both exhausting.

2. Closing his eyes doesn't mean he's falling asleep. He's enjoying himself. He'll likely alternate between watching you with a giant smile on his face and closing his eyes to enjoy what's happening. Blow jobs are passive for him, and that's part of the appeal if we're being honest; he doesn't have to do anything. He doesn't even need to keep his eyes open if he doesn't want to.

3. He's going to give you as much warning as he can before he orgasms. But it still might not be enough. Please don't be mad at him though. Sometimes it sneaks up on him and he's screaming, "I'm going to come!" with urgency because he wants you to have all the time he can possibly give you to prepare, not because he thinks it's funny to spring it on you like this is a horrible YouTube prank video.

4. He's putting a lot of faith in you, so please be careful with your teeth. This is an exercise in trust. It is a very vulnerable time for a man and his junk. Basically, it's a trust fall for his penis.

5. When it's time for lift-off, please do not point his penis up at his face or into a dark corner of the room. No one wants to get cum all over themselves or find a bunch of it encrusted on their couch when they're cleaning their room a month later. I mean, a day later. All men clean their room daily.

6. Being told our semen tastes terrible makes us feel bad. That semen was prepared with love, just for you. I'm not saying you need to savour each note like a fine wine, but if you hate it, just be polite about it.

7. If you don't want to give one, he doesn't want you to either. If you don't like giving blow jobs, don't offer them up. It's as simple as that. If you think he takes too long, or your jaw cramps up, or you just don't like it, don't put yourself through it. Nobody has fun when one partner is clearly not enjoying themselves. Do other sex stuff instead.

8. Don't be offended if he doesn't want to kiss right after. Some (read: a lot) of guys don't love the idea of kissing you with the fresh taste of their own semen on your breath. It's nothing personal, and he is still very grateful. Hey, you might not love it when he kisses you right after he goes down on you either. If it's really bothering you, though, don't be afraid to talk to him about it.

9. You shouldn't stress spitting or swallowing. Let it be said: No serious relationship ever collapses because of a reticence to treat his ejaculate like a four-course meal. Don't sweat it.

10. He knows he needs to return the favour. Believe me when I say he's going to want to Pay it Forward Haley Joel Osmet-style, except without the part at the end where he gets stabbed. If he doesn't, this is the kind of shit you need to call him out on. He might be oblivious, he might be in an orgasm-induced sex coma, but either way, refusing to reciprocate is not OK, and you damn well should tell him so.

11. Keep in mind that if you blow him to completion, you're not having sex right away. Don't back yourself into a corner here. If you're hoping to get busy with straight-up P-in-V sex after all your efforts, it's going to be tough for him to do that after he just came.

12. Enthusiasm goes a long way. It's true for most things in life, and it's true for blow jays.

Source: Cosmo US

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  • Author: Frank Kobola