Even if you do the horizontal mambo daily, practice doesn’t always make perfect. And when things aren’t gelling or you get a nasty surprise (hello, that time of the month), sexy time can fall into major eek territory before you know it. But don’t worry because we have a few sure-fire ways help you move on from even the most awks sex fails.
How to survive:
The accidental injury. So your bedroom gymnastics had you bouncing off the walls a little too much and now you have a pulled muscle. If you’re seriously injured, you need to stop and treat it, if you keep going it could get worse, and you really don’t want to have to explain to people why you’re wearing a knee brace.
So, first step, deal with the injury, second step, laugh about it. It’s as awkward as you make it so turn it into a personal joke you can both share.
He called out a name… the wrong one. If the guy is someone you’re just having a fling with then laugh it off because it’s not a biggie. Sure it’s rude and he should be a little red-faced, but since you’re not emotionally invested you shouldn’t worry if his ex’s nameslipped out. When it comes to teasing this material doesn’t expire, so have a good joke about it and be happy that you can pay him out about it for, like, ever. Please note: we said joke, not passive aggressive poking.
If he’s your BF, you’re going to be a little hurt, but just remember the brain does crazy things when it’s dosed up on happy hormones. Sit down and have an honest conversation about it when you’re both aren’t jacked up on “sex”. When you’re a little calmer get to the bottom of whether it was a silly mistake or there were emotions attached to it.
If he doesn’t remember your name at all, that’s a whole other story. Let’s hope this was a one night stand with a stranger! Once things are over, nicely remind him of your name, collect your stuff and leave without giving him your number.
You called out the wrong name. Need to explain yourself? Let us help you:
If it was a recent ex, then let your guy know you called the name out of habit (and you were on a high from his excellent lovin’ and not thinking).
If it was a friend’s name (eek) then say you were just talking to them before because you were making plans to meet up and the name (not the guy) was floating around in your head.
You’re dry as the desert. If you’re up for sex, but you’re not wet enough, don’t be embarrassed to grab some lube or add some saliva via a foreplay blowjob. If it’s still too sore, then stop because it will only be agony later. But you don’t have to draw attention to this fact, just help him finish off and act as if this was your plan all along – let’s be honest, what guy is going to question an impromptu BJ?
His hands aren’t working wonders. If he’s working hard (too hard) to rev your engine via clitoral stimulation, we know it isn’t easy to stop and let him know it’s not going to make you climax. After all, you don’t want him taking it personally. But instead of letting the guy get cramps, if you think there is absolutely no way he is going to get you off, you should tell him sooner rather than later that you’re just too tired.
When you put on the brakes, make sure he knows it’s not because he doesn’t turn you on, but in that moment not even Ryan Gosling is going to do it for you. Or you can help guide him to make it more fun than furious: softly show his hand what to do with your own. Seeing you touching yourself will not only turn him on, it will show him what is actually going to get you to the sweet spot.
Bad timing. Your guy might often be a master at the sex marathon, but sometimes they can’t help but sprint to the end – ahead of you. Don’t be offended, take it as a compliment - you turned him on too much (you sexy thing, you). He might be finished, but that doesn’t mean the sesh is over. He can still help you get the big “O” with his hands and mouth. He probably feels more embarrassed than you for his speedy performance, so make him feel comfortable and take control to keep things going in the right direction.
Your period came early, SURPRISE! You’re going at it when you realise your period has snuck up on you. While it’s gross for you, it’s double EURGH for him. So yes, he might freak out, but it will only be as awkward as you let it be. Be the evolved adult: take it to the shower, put on new sheets and get your no-nonsense ‘tude going.