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A-Z of kinky

3:14AM, Feb 27, 2013
Has 50 Shades made you want to try something new? Get a few ideas from Cosmo’s special guide…

If the internet has shown us anything, it’s that there are a lot of fetishes out there. So to help you get updated fast, we’ve compiled a handy A-Z of kinky to get you started.

Whether you just want to expand your sex-trivia knowledge, or try something new, this list will definitely give you a few ideas on how to get down and dirty (or how not to).

A-Z of common kinky habits:

Anal: This isn’t for everyone but if you’re going to try it use plenty of lube and go gently.

Blindfolds: Removing your sight can heighten your other senses, like a touch. It’s exciting not knowing where he’ll touch you next - this is an easy entry to more kinky terrain.

Cuffs: “Handcuffs are a great and simple way to achieve domination in the bedroom. However unless you are playing cop, those mental things can be uncomfortable. Try something soft instead or even tape that sticks to itself instead of your skin,” says sexpert Dr Nikki Goldstein.

Domination: “This doesn’t need to read like a scene out of 50 Shades. People often think of whips, chains and dungeons (which it can be), but for those who wishs to start off on the lighter side, anything that will create a dominate feeling in the bedroom will do. Even some playful biting can be a great way to introduce your partner to these new sensations,” says Goldstein.

Exhibitionism: “This is one of the more risky things to explore sexually and shouldn’t be tried in public. If you want to explore exhibitionism, try nudist beaches, dance parties that are a little more risqué or even your own backyard (as long as the neighbours aren’t watching). Exhibitionism doesn't always have to involve nudity either,” says Goldstein.

Fantasy enactment: Good ol’ role-play is all about acting out your hidden desires, think “the cop and the criminal” or whatever is up your alley. It’s not for everyone, especially if you’re self-conscious, so check if your dude is willing to try it out before launching at him in full get-up.

Did you know getting turned on by adult flicks is also known as Pictophilia?

Golden Showers: You might remember that Sex and the City episode where Carrie deliberates over whether to let her lover pee on her. This is definitely something you need to talk about first, but if you’re both into it then…

High-heels: Wearing your pumps during the horizontal mambo can be a major turn on for some dudes, so try leaving them on.

I (i.e. you): are you turned by you? There are lot of fetishes that involve self-love and some of the more random include autovampirism (imagining yourself as a vampire) or autozoophilia (imagining yourself as an animal or plush toy). Learning to love yourself (even if it's as a vamp) is never a bad thing, so try spending sometime imagining yourself in different fantasies and see what happens...

Japanese Rope Bondage: As the name suggests, this is a Japanese style of BDSM involving a three-strand twisted rope to tie bed partners up. You don’t need to be hanging your guy upside down to experience this, why not try tying his hands behind his back, so he can’t touch you?

Knismolagnia: Or tickling in plain English. This isn’t usually a sexual act, but some people get off by being tickled.

Leather fetish: Some peeps just love the sensual feel of leather. Wheather you wear full bondage or just a leather skirt, this could get your guy going.

Mixophilia: If you like doing it in front of a mirror, then you’re into mixophilia. This means you enjoy having your sex partner see you do the horizontal mambo (with him). The mirror is the easiest way to enjoy this, but don't forget that a lot of household pieces have reflective surfaces, so you’re not just restricted to the bedroom.

Nipple Play: This fetish involves stroking, tweaking and toying with the nipple as a form of foreplay or as a main event. This might seem common sense, but the nipples are often forgotten, so get them involved next time you get down and dirty.

Objectophilia: Is your BF hot for his car? Some peeps can get turned on by objects (and we’re not talking vibrators). Anything from sofas to the fridge can be a hot spot for certain dudes, although even just experiencing true love with your fave handbag qualifies as objectophilia. If your BF is attracted to certain pieces of furniture like the table, why not move the party from the bed to the dining room?

Pony play: Hi, ho Silver! This is where one person dresses up as a horse and is ridden around by their partner . Hey, we’re not judging…

Quicksand: Feeding into the damsel-in-distress scenario, some dudes are turned on by the idea of you getting stuck in quicksand. Considering this would take extensive thought and effort to re-enact – don’t go jumping into a sandpit – this is best played out using the power of your minds and some serious suspension of your disbelief. The disturbing part is while certain dudes like the idea of saving you; others get off on your distress. Only try this with guys who want to jump to your rescue.

Riding Crops: We think of this as the low-grade whip for those who don’t want a serious thrashing, it works into the whole Domination-Submission complex. To make sure you don’t leave any marks, rub the targeted area to encourage circulation and don’t go too hard. Communication is key in any S&M scenarios.

Sploshers: These peeps are turned on by food. Cream + you = one seriously turned on guy.

TENS unit: This is a medical-device-gone-kinky - it sends out electric currents. Its ability to create steady but adjustable (!) tingling sensations means it’s favoured by some fetishist for the not-so-medical aim of getting off.

Uniforms: You know the saying “I love a man in uniform”, well some people, really, really do. They are an easy way to get into role play.

Voyeurism: This means getting hot by watching others get down and dirty. If this is your shtick, then you might think about attending adult sex parties where you can join in or just have a perv.

Worship: Body worship is literally revering a part of your dude’s bod, like his manhood, butt or biceps. It’s a submissive BDSM act that reinforces a sense of “inferiority” because he forbids you from touching the area in any “normal” way. Generally, you can only kiss, suck or lick said body part. 

X-rated porn:  Did you know getting turned on by adult flicks is also known as Pictophilia? Watching porn with your dude can be a small step into voyeurism. Make sure your sex partner is open to sharing his collection with you before you start searching for that “hidden” folder on his desktop.

YOLO: You only live once, so don’t be scared to try anything you think will play into your fantasies.

Zoophilia: Do you find the idea of pretending to be a cat, and (possibly) wearing a collar or lapping milk out of the bowl kinda sexy? If you do, then you’re into zoophilia, which means you like to role play as an animal.  This is different from bestiality, where the person actually has sex with animals (gross) but some experts say it still involves the desire to have sex with furry creatures, which is just as ick.

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