Sex

10 guys reveal their most embarrassing sex story

A story that starts with "Once I tried to spice up a blow job with Nutella..." never has a happy ending.

By: Madison Feller

One time, I met a guy who told me, "If you don't laugh at least once during sex, you're doing something wrong." (Cool, thanks for the unsolicited sex advice!). While I don't know if that's necessarily true, I do know that more often than not, ridiculous things happen at some point during sex. I mean, when you're that close to someone and dealing with unpredictable bodily functions, how are you not going to have some slip-ups? For these 10 guys in particular, sexual encounters turned into hilarious, cringeworthy stories that will remind you that when it comes to embarrassing sex, we've all been there.

1. "In college, my girlfriend and I were going at it semi-quietly in her dorm room, as to not disturb her roommates. At one point, she moved down really quickly and ending up slamming her head into mine, causing me to see stars. Needless to say, that ended things pretty quickly as I tried to get the world to stop spinning. The worst part was her roommates heard the whole thing and were real concerned with the red spot on my forehead later on." —Hayden, 23

2. "One time while I was having sex, I asked the girl if she wanted me to pull out. 'Don't worry, I won't get pregnant,' was her response, followed by, 'Even if I do, we'll have super-cute babies.' Not what you want to hear when you're 18 years old." —Dave, 22

3. "Sophomore year of college, I had this roommate. We didn't talk much so when I wanted to check if the room was clear to have someone over (wink, wink) I only asked our third roommate, not the other one. So there I am going at it in our room and my exchange-student roommate walks in the door. Bad enough as is, I was actually having sex on his desk ... Imagine coming home after a long day of class to find your roommate fucking someone right on your desk. Awk." —Dominic, 21

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4. "Once I tried to spice up a blow job with Nutella. Turns out Nutella is not conducive to sucking dick or indeed doing anything with your mouth that does not involve swallowing said Nutella. Sex session devolved into laughter, blue balls, and the surprisingly sleazy act of washing Nutella off myself in the shower." —Michael, 20

5. "We were both a little drunk*. I could tell that she was nervous, so I told her to let me know if she was uncomfortable and we could stop. She assured me that she was OK to keep going. We have sex for a little while, and she starts bleeding. I notice first and don't make a big deal out of it since it's happened to me before. She is mortified. I let her use my shower and tell her that she's more than welcome to spend the night if she'd like. She refuses, so I drive her home. We texted a few times after that but never hung out again. I find out a few weeks later that that was her first time having sex since high school, which certainly explains why she was so upset." —Adam, 22*

6. "It was a one-night stand after jumping around to a few parties. By the time we got back to my place, it was 4:30 a.m. and we were still pretty drunk. Between how tired I was and the alcohol, I couldn't keep it up for very long, and we both ended up falling asleep unsatisfied." —Andrew, 23

7. "We're on the couch watching a movie at her parents' house. And I am bulging, rock solid, ready for her parents to get to sleep so we can get to business. Finally, we hear the door close and wait a few minutes, and it's go time. It starts with some making out with some hands moving under a blanket. All clothes remained on, as to maintain plausible deniability. My hand crept down her pants, slowly ... I continue to kiss her neck and use my fingers. Until, out of nowhere, we hear her mother shout her name, tacking on, 'Can you come here for a second?' Next thing I know, she comes back, tomato red and says I gotta go. Turns out, her mom actually peeked in after saying good night and watched this entire ordeal." —Eric, 22

8. "We were having pretty standard sex, and I guess I did something right because she jerked and ending up kneeing me in my hip, where I have an old soccer injury. I immediately cried out in pain, and we had to stop for the night." —Matt, 22

9. "After I spent the whole day helping my girlfriend of about five months move out of her old apartment, she and I headed over to my place for some ~alone~ time.Unfortunately, we had to bring her cat along too. While we started watching a movie, the cat wandered outside of the room to explore. Unsurprisingly, the movie time quickly turned carnal, and we shut the door. Right after closing the door, she went down on me while I was still standing. Before long, I was just about ready … and then we hear loud crashing and meows from the kitchen. I went limp right in my girlfriend's mouth and then we both started laughing." —Peter, 24

10. "I had hooked up with a woman for a one-night stand. We were interrupted by her roommate who was the daughter of a very conservative preacher. I spent the rest of the night getting passages read to me from the Bible." —Dylan, 22

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  • Author: Madison Feller