Six ways to spice up your sex life

Not feeling it in the sack? These easy tricks will turn up the intensity between your sheets in no time.

How to put spice into your sex life
Ways to increase your sex drive

While we’d all love to say we’re sex sirens who barely bat an eyelid at the phrase “multiple orgasms”, the truth is, we’re not having that much sex. A recent study revealed that on average we’re having less than five sex session a month – not exactly Fifty Shades-worthy, right? So how exactly can you get your mojo back and rekindle the flame? Try these five easy tricks…

Prioritise your love life

OK, while we’re not going to go as far as saying you need to schedule in a couple of nights where you HAVE to have sex, it is time to make it a priority in your life. “If you lock in a sex night you’re going to feel a lot of pressure to turn it on. Instead, schedule regular ‘alone time’ where you put down your smartphones, hang out watching a movie or even just snuggle in bed,” recommends sex and relationship expert Dr Nikki Goldstein. This way, you’re more likely to reconnect and want to have sex.

According to UK sex expert Tracy Cox, taking turns to plan a date night will up the excitement factor. “The person whose turn it is decides what you’re doing, when, where, how, organises any props you need, and is the instigator. This forces each of you to adopt different roles as giver and taker."

Think outside the room

Always having sex in your bedroom, on the bed? It’s time to shake things up ladies because routine can equal boredom. “Different places can hold different memories, which is why it’s great to have sex in a different room or go to a hotel as a treat – it’s a new space so visually and mentally you’re going to be stimulated,” explains Dr Nikki. Hello, kitchen (just make sure no one is home)!

Tracy recommends setting the goal of getting busy in every room in your house in a week. “To make it really interesting, put a time limit on it. No more than five minutes from start to finish – and remember, a quickie can be intercourse, oral or hand stimulation,” Tracy advises. Are you up for the challenge?

Try one little change

When you’ve got into a routine where you’re always having sex the same way, in the same two positions, things are going to get a little boring. But here’s a newsflash: shaking things up doesn’t need to involve Christian Grey and his Red Room of Pain. “People feel they need to really change things if their sex life is waning, but if you just implement one tiny change – like a new lubricant or an ice cube on a nipple – it’ll have a huge impact on your sex life,” encourages Dr Nikki. One small change for you; one giant leap for your lovin’.

Kiss kiss

How long has it been since you had a serious kiss fest with your guy? If you’re only really getting your smooch on when you have sex, it’s time to pucker up. “Kissing is really underestimated. It’s something that can make you both feel good and it really shows your partner that you love them,” explains Dr Nikki. Plus, it releases oxytocin, the hormone that promotes calmness and connection. Translation: you’ll be more inclined to want to do the deed.

Focus on you

Having the urge to jump your partner has a lot to do with how sexy you’re feeling as an individual. If you’re not feeling confident or attractive, there’s no way you’re going to feel comfortable about stripping off and doing the deed with your guy. “Do something that makes you feel like a goddess. Whether it’s getting a spray tan, a new outfit, some sexy lingerie or getting your makeup done,” suggest Dr Nikki. If you feel hot, you’ll project that vibe onto your partner. Hello, awesome sex!

Talk, talk, talk

Another huge (albeit kinda boring) way you can up your sex quota is as simple as opening your mouth… to talk. Get your mind out of the gutter, we’re not referencing that kind of talk… “As humans we forget that our sexual needs, fantasies and likes change over time. If your man is doing something that doesn’t please you anymore, don’t hide it from him,” says Dr Nikki.

So how do you do that without deflating his ego and, er, other things? “Tell him that you love him and you love your sex life but there’s one little thing you’d like him to change. Always offer a solution that he can do instead,” explains Dr Nikki. This way he won’t have a bruised ego and you’ll get what you want. Cha-ching!