Sex

Tara O'Sullivan: Textual intercourse...

Are you sexier online than in real life?

I have a crush. A big, pre-teen, butterflies in the tummy, crush. Smiling like a Cheshire cat, I bubble girly giddiness over all who dares approach.

I have a crush. A big, pre-teen, butterflies in the tummy, crush. Smiling like a Cheshire cat, I bubble girly giddiness over all who dares approach. I happily divulge our textual commentary to anyone within earshot and my friends have become tired of pausing conservations while I take his call... for an hour.
I am intolerable to even myself.
But here's the thing, I haven't actually met him... well, in person. In a distant age this may have seem weird, but given we live in a world where we can order a Russian bride, become a priest or stalk our handsome neighbour all from the discreet comfort of our PC, I hardly think I deserve a raised brow. Just because I haven't sat opposite my beloved in a dimly-lit setting wearing an outfit that took three hours and four friends to put together, doesn't mean I know nothing about him? Does it? We have text, poked, tweeted, (Facebook) stalked and spent hours chatting by phone into the wee hours of a new romantic morning. Making use of modern day social media, I have pieced together a profile of my sexual subject that would make Horatio from CSI proud. I trawl through tagged pictures looking for evidence of piercings or a third nipple, go over texts and emails with my humour comb looking for traces of shared idiosyncrasies and find delight in common ground. My flirty fingers fire off witty-while-appropriately-suggestive replies to his instant message chit-chat. I have even sprung a quick word association game on him to root out undetected psychopathic habits. And so far, he's passed with flying colours. Phew. So the question is: why am I so worried about ACTUALLY meeting him? Have I been relying so heavily on technology to create familiarity with my newfound Prince Charming, that I'm worried the reality might not match up? Or is it more likely that he might find out I'm not entirely the same person in real life as I am online? (I've strategically left out the fact that I grind my teeth and night and enjoy a Sunday session of country music.)
I've allowed internet intimacy to take over and now worry my 'sexy' cyberself will fall short. Using only the building blocks of digital communications it's very easy to fill in the gaps with what we believe would build the perfect guy... but what if we are just misinterpreting the text?