Sex

Tara Tries...a nudist retreat

Our resident guinea pig spent the weekend at a “clothing optional” holiday park. Yep! Read all about it…

Tara tries a nudist retreat

Summer has arrived. The season of hot sticky days and long frisky nights. It’s my favorite time of year so I thought why not celebrate the return of the sun in style...naked.

Just one hour out of Sydney is Australia’s largest “clothing optional” holiday park. Need a weekend away but hate the stress of packing? No problem, leave all your cares, clothes (and perhaps your inhibitions) at home and recharge and reconnect with nature, naturally.

I have never had a problem with nudity, in fact my mother spent most of my childhood years telling me to put my dress back on, and now as an adult, I still need the odd reminder. It’s not that I think I have a smoking hot body and the world will benefit from seeing my naughty bits…quite the opposite actually. I’m as body conscious as the next person, but being naked is something I feel totally comfortable with.

The only problem is I have never encountered another totally bare butt enthusiasts like myself. So you can imagine I was more than a little excited to learn of a place where frolicking free willy style is not only encouraged but celebrated.

The retreat is just like any other camping holiday park. Surrounded in lush forest, the peace and quiet is deafening. Within two minutes of my arrival I spot my first penis! This particular penis belonged to Greg and he was deeeeeelighted to welcome me to the sanctuary. I tried so hard not to look at his sunburnt member as he showed me around, pointing out the ping pong table for the two pm tournament and the therapeutic massage spa.

Leaving me on the beautiful river bank, Greg went off to toss the salad for lunch (I don’t even want to think about how many hair nets that man needs!) and I sat down next to Jenny, to enjoy the hot sun and watch the people around me play. Jenny was lovely and told me she had been coming here for over five years. A breast cancer survivor, she originally came to the park to learn to appreciate and respect her body after the disease took both her breasts and left her scarred inside and out. She was the most beautiful woman and I was suddenly compelled to get naked and sit next to her united in the strength of girl power and the joy of our bodies.

Next up was lunch, which was enjoyed on long communal tables, buffet style. I should mention that personal hygiene was top of mind for me and I had the Detol hand sanitiser at the ready always. I also sat on my napkin and avoided the BBQ sausages, it just didn’t feel right. The meal was a great opportunity to chat amongst my fellow nudies, and I discovered that most of my peers worked in high-stress corporate jobs and relished the chance to get back to basics and unwind. Mostly couples, I never once felt uncomfortable or leered over.

The rest of the afternoon was spent swimming and observing the different styles of pubic hair. Big mountainous lady bushes are clearly the fashion...life imitating nature perhaps? At night cocktails and canapés followed by karaoke. Believe me when I say you haven’t lived until you have sung ‘I will Survive’ in the buff, to a crowd of jiggly bits!

So my precious readers, if you fancy something a little different this festive season this is a tip top recommendation. So much more than skinny dipping and publicly-displayed private bits, it’s a toast to the human form in ALL its wonderful shapes, sizes and glory. Hurrah for nakedness!