You know those weeks when everything is just crap? You feel like you've gained 100kgs overnight, your skin looks like you're back in high school and you're pretty sure you caught a weird fungal infection from your housemate. Well, last week that was me.
Everyone and everything irritated me. But no-one more than myself. My favourite self-loathing playlist was on repeat and only 'Negative Nancy's' were welcome to join my pity party.
By day three, I had reached such depths of self-hate; I was beginning to wonder if even my parents were lying when they told me they loved me.
Then, out of the blue, it hit me. I'm a sex and relationship writer, for refrigerators sake!
Surely all I needed was a spoonful of my own medicine...but it tasted bitter and I was struggling to swallow.
I required a shakeup, someone's help to pull me out of my stinky funk. I needed a good old fashion dose of self-love (and not the 'under the doona kind') So I decided it was time to put down my sex manuals and man brains and work on the relationship that mattered the most...
Ladies I give you GALA DARLING.
Gala is the most refreshing thing that's happened to self-help since Prozac. Obscenely cool and chic, this girl has style and positive energy by the cyber-load. The creator of 'Radical Self Love Boot camp', Gala is helping people everywhere to gain back their glitter and groove by following a 30 day program.
I am hesitant to begin my 'journey of discovery'. The whole sugar and smiles approach seems, well, a little to 'Disney Princess' for me. Never one for mirror mantras or visualizations, (I've been visualizing Ryan Gosling in my bed for years now, but that definitely has happened...yet). Even the smell of the self-help section at my favorite bookstore is enough for me to pour vodka on my salad. Plus, those damn inspirational quotes people post on Facebook drive me bonkers! BONKERS!!!
However, in this case it is undeniable; the proof is in the pudding. Many years ago Gala overcame severe depression and a debilitating eating disorder using the very techniques she promotes in her program, so this ladybirddefinitelyknows her stuff when it comes to the importance of self-love. And that's good enough for me.
So, suck it up Tara and learn a thing or two! And, I did.
I'm now two weeks into the Radical Self Love Bootcamp and to be honest I'm feeling pretty perky. I'm not sure if I'm simply drunk off Gala's candy-floss attitude or if all this personal growth stuff is really working. Probably both.
Despite myself, I started the required Love Diary and went on the suggested 'self-dates'. Oh yes, I wooed and romanced the crap out of myself until I actually started fancying the girl I didn't even want to be friends with in the first place. I have a bit of a crush. Old 'tubby thighs' isn't so bad after all. She has some amazing dreams for her future and when I spent time with her, listening to her hopes and fears, she was a pretty cool chick.
I reckon I could be getting the hang of this 'loving yourself' stuff. It's pretty liberating. I don't have to worry about constantly judging myself on how I look or act etc. I just roll through the day with the knowledge that although I may not be perfect, I'm good enough. I try to focus on the great parts of myself and let all the other stuff just fall away. So I ate an entire bag of Maltesers...they were delicious (normally I'd spend a good hour feeling more guilty than a reformed Nazi.)
Gala, you fairy loving godmother, your inspiring view of life, your wisdom and warmth is heart lifting and addictive. You force people to see what really matters, how important we are to ourselves, and to treasure our differences and celebrate our flaws. Self-love is not a joke, it is the most important and for some, the hardest, lesson of life to learn.
I wish I had started earlier.