Sex

69 things that go through your mind when you go down on a guy

Should I gaze up at him?

71 things that go through your mind when you go down on a guy

  1. Oh FFS, do I really have to?

  1. Look, if you do it he'll probs re-pay the favour. Just suck it up and GO.

  1. Haha. 'Suck it up'.

  1. OK. All snail trails lead to…

  1. I got this.

  1. Oh, thanks for keeping your man garden pruned!

  1. NOT.

  1. How firm should my grasp be?

  1. I’ve got enough spit going on here to keep a water park running. For an entire year.

  1. Gross.

  1. Focus on breathing through your nose. In. Out. In Out.

  1. I'm such a yogi right now.

  1. I was expecting it to taste saltier.

  1. But it kind of just tastes like... skin?

  1. Surely porn stars are the only people who can fit an entire peen in their mouths?

  1. Gag reflex

  1. Has it been 10 minutes yet?

  1. No.

  1. Did I turn the iron off?

  1. Since when did reaching climax becoming such a marathon?

  1. Jaw strain

  1. Do I need to see a dentist for my jaw strain?

  1. Is that normal?

  1. Should I touch his scrotum?

  1. Ewwwww, scrotum.

  1. These testicles seriously need a good anti-wrinkle cream.

  1. Why do they ALWAYS smell like that?

  1. Maybe testicles age backwards Benjamin Button style and they’ll get younger eventually?

  1. EEK. I touched it.

  1. Well done me.

  1. Great, now my hand smells like that.

  1. Let’s now both enjoy a hand job intermission.

  1. Where do I look during this part?

  1. Neck ache

  1. Where’s the gooch?

  1. Is that the gooch?

  1. Do I touch it with my thumb?

  1. What if I accidentally slip in?

  1. What if he likes it if it slips in?

  1. Too soon.

  1. Retract.

  1. Should I gaze up at him?

  1. Is that weird?

  1. Where’s a hair tie when you need one?

  1. Can we have sex yet?

  1. OOO I like these encouraging moans.

  1. His eyes are closed, this is a good sign.

  1. OMG I think he’s going to cum soon.

  1. Does he expect me to swallow it?

  1. Is it offensive if I don’t want to swallow?

  1. I have heard it can work wonders for your skin.

  1. Maybe he should give me a pearl necklace?

  1. But in my throat.

  1. I'd much rather a real pearl necklace.

  1. FOCUS.

  1. This is the final dash to the finish.

  1. Stay strong.

  1. Don’t flinch.

  1. Shit is about to get nasty.

  1. I can handle this because I’m a boss bitch.

  1. wide eyed emoji face

  1. And we’re DONE.

  1. Finally.

  1. That part never gets easier.

  1. He seriously owes me.

  1. Like, he better go down on me for this long.

  1. I need to brush my teeth.

  1. I smell like a ball sack.

  1. Hopefully this means I won't have to go again for a few months.

  1. Gooooodnight.