Sex

Why sex is better when you’re in love

Don’t just take our word for it; science says so too.

New research from Pennsylvania State University claims sex is more satisfying when you’re in love with your sexual partner.

It’s an interesting subject, especially since the media portrays women who enjoy sex as ‘sluts’ and women who are married as no longer having sex at all. Apparently, the only time you can get some without being promiscuous is when you’re in a relationship.

The study surveyed 95 heterosexual women between the ages of 20 and 68, and found that beyond the emotional benefits of love, it made sex physically more enjoyable. Granted, 50 of the 95 women surveyed said love wasn’t necessary to have sex, but only 18 believed the two were in no way connected. So it’s pretty clear that women value the love connection when they’re getting down.

We did some investigating, and came up with 7 reasons why this research makes total sense.

  1. Being in love strengthens your communication skills with your partner – speaking up about what you enjoy or what you don’t is a way more natural process when you’re in a loving relationship.

  1. It’s a physical way to express how you’re feeling – sure, when you’re five drinks down and feeling ready for action, sex is one way to express it… but the intimacy of ‘making love’ to your partner is arguably way more intense.

  1. It’s a judgement-free zone – “You feel freer to experiment sexually without worrying about being judged or seen as ‘dirty’ for suggesting something,” says Sexologist and Relationship Expert Dr Nikki Goldstein. Go on, get your 50 Shades on…

  1. It builds trust – “You feel supported, and there are less issues around self-esteem and body issues, when you’re in love with your sexual partner,” says Nikki. “You’re able to relax and enjoy sex without thinking ‘Does my arse look big?’" Because, let’s be honest, he’s not going to notice those extra scoops of ice-cream you had last night.

  1. Acts of extreme intimacy don’t freak you out – Hugging, touching, snuggling, or spending a whole weekend in bed aren’t terrifying prospects when all you want to do is hang out with your boo anyway. “When you’re engaging in casual sex, all the most intimate positions are automatically off the table – the sex becomes detached,” adds Nikki.

  1. You both get off – “Knowing your partner and being comfortable with them appears more in a loving relationship, so you know where to touch them and how to turn them on,” Nikki says. Likewise, he knows how to please you, without leaving you feeling selfish. You both get pleasure seeing your partner genuinely enjoy themselves.

  1. Trying new things is fun, not freakish – Role playing, sex toys and new positions can be introduced into the bedroom in a way that feels safer, and ultimately more enjoyable, when you really know (and love) your partner. Casually showing up to your booty call’s house in a naughty nurse costume might not go down so well when he tells you that’s his sister’s job (nursing, not stripping).