How to get there...when you can't be there

By Samantha Brett

Ever attempted a long-distance relationship? You know the drill: extensive commutes (complete with jetlag and under-eye bags); sexual frustration and phone bills that rack up faster than you can say ''I miss you."

Thankfully, we now have access to a genius piece of computer software that's guaranteed to keep your relationship (and sex life) healthy.
Skype enables users to have a phone conversation over the Internet with anyone, anywhere. It even features a web camera, so you can be face-to-face for a bit of cross-country lovin'.

1. Choose the moment

''It's often very difficult for even the most adventurous of couples to initiate at first,'' explains Jill Michelson from Marie Stopes International. ''Pick a time that suits the moment — probably not while you're discussing the overdue gas bill! Suggest it when you're both talking about how much you miss each other and how you wish you could be having sex right now.''

2. Plan ahead

Make a ''Skype sex date'' for when you're both at home and worry-free. Not only will it calm you after a hard day at work and give you something to look forward to, but you'll be guaranteed not to be sprung doing an at-home facial.

3. Set the mood

There's nothing sexy about having Skype sex with the evening news in the background! Switch off the TV, dim the lights, put on some sensual music and wear sexy lingerie.

4. Be prepared

Don't promise your partner a sexy time and then get all tongue-tied when it comes to doing the deed. Spend some time writing a list of things to say that you know will turn you and your partner on.

5. Visualise

Sexologist Dr Janet Hall suggests kicking it off with some strong images: ''Talk about what you're wearing, the places you are touching and how you feel. Ask them what they'd be doing to you if you were actually there.'' Of course if the web cam's on, there won't need to be as much talking; just tell them you wish they were there as you touch yourself.