What he's not telling you

Four things guys keep private

Their hidden habits are embarrassing, so try to be kind when you learn the truth.

In the era of blogs and camera phones, you might not think men have many secrets anymore. Well, ha! We have a whole mess of undercover behaviour you should know about. You'll respect us if we're honest, right?

We masturbate — a lot
Yes, men think about sex, well, constantly, and that drives us to lengths that might surprise you. Maybe it's in the morning, while you're showering. Or before you get home from work. Or even while you're asleep and we're still up watching TV in the next room (thanks, Cinemax!). This isn't due to a flaw in our sex life or because we're unhappy with you; it's just a part of our routine. "It's a relaxation technique," says Aron, 26. "My girlfriend has a glass of wine after work, and I masturbate my stress away."

We enjoy chick flicks
Not that you'll find Beaches in our DVD collection, but "the comedies are genuinely enjoyable," says Andrew, 27. "I'm almost not ashamed to own The Break-Up … Okay, and Love Actually." The truth be told, many beloved guy flicks, such as Wedding Crashers and Old School, are big on the let's-stay-in-love-baby plot points. Now excuse us while we do a shot of whiskey to reassert our masculinity.

We Google you
Actually, we Google you, MySpace you, Facebook you, and if we had a friend in the Australian Federal Police, we'd AFP you too. We're hoping to discover anything you like or don't like so we can say the right thing on dates. We know it's insecurity talking — it's not like we gain some psychological advantage by knowing that you played violin in high school.

On the bright side, sometimes our snooping pays off. "When I found out that my crush blogged about indie music, I knew it was the perfect in," explains James, 30. "I bought tickets to a Shins show and asked her out. We had a blast."

We have fat days, too
We don't expect to be Matthew McConaughey clones, but we're still not as confident about our looks as we seem. We'll put on a t-shirt and suddenly notice the start of a beer belly. Or we'll put on those favourite jeans only to find a pair of newborn love handles creeping over the top.

"There's no warning," says Dave, 28. "I'll see myself in the mirror and start thinking when did I start looking like that?" Just noticing it is embarrassing — admitting it out loud would make us feel like, well, a girl. It's nearly enough to cause a man to consider giving up his daily bacon-and-cheese breakfast sandwich. Nearly.