You know the drill: you’re out with your friends, someone starts telling a story then all of a sudden it takes a WTF, 'how did we even get here?' turn so you're just sat there making this face until it's over...
Which is exactly what happened to Anna Kendrick when she appeared on The Graham Norton Show with Robbie Williams.
Ultimate lad Robbie recalled the time he was renting a castle and woke to find a female standing at the end of his bed, who he assumed was the cleaner. Despite being a complete stranger who he literally just met, he allowed her to fondle his man junk.
“I could swear that they were tidying up or cleaning or something,” Robbie said. “Sure enough, I open my eyes and there was a lady at the bottom of the bed. She could have been anywhere from 28 to 58."
“She looks at me. I look at her. I went, "Alright?" She went, "Alright?" She looked on the floor where my underpants were, and she went, "Calvin Kleins?” I'm like, OK, this is definitely really weird. She went, "Have you got morning glory?" This is back in the day when I used to have morning glory! So I was like, 'Yeah!' She says, "I'll w**k you off!"
At this point of the story, fellow guests Justin Timberlake and Daniel Radcliffe were equally as disturbed and yet probably secretly wishing this was their story to tell.
“I'm really young and creative and I can close my eyes and pretend it's somebody else, so it's like, "Yeah, go on then!"
Annnd Anna's reaction is all of us...
"Anyway, she does the dirty deed and it's confusing. I felt defiled. Off she went on her merry way! That night I was with the lady who ran the castle. I said, "Your cleaner's weird!" She said, "We don't have cleaners on a Wednesday." It was just somebody who had walked in off the street come up and give me a hand job, and then left!"
Laughing? Yeah so are we. But the story did not end there.
“Cut to like three years later I'm with my band and I'm like [recounting the story]. My guitarist went, "That's Maureen from the pub! She said she did that but nobody believed her!"'
Thanks for the wild ride Robbie, but good to see you're keeping it in your pants more these days.