When Channel Ten teased Brooke's "big revelation" last week, I wanted FIREWORKS. I wanted DRAMA. I wanted to Brooke to pull off her mask Mission Impossible-style to reveal Steve Buscemi playing the role of a lifetime.
Instead, all I got was poor, uncomfortable Brooke feeling forced to disclose her sexuality like it was the 1940s again.
For reference, this is how the "big reveal" was sold on TV (it made it look like she had a criminal record to share):
In case you were wondering, no, she didn't murder someone in cold blood a decade ago, she's simply been with both girls AND boys.
On Wednesday's episode, producers tried to weasel this info out of Brooke by subjecting her to a CIA-level interrogation (quite literally) from the most intense man in the world.
He grilled her to the point where Brooke actually said out loud, "I'm feeling really uncomfortable," which is, you know, usually a sign you should call it a day and stop making the sweet 23-year-old cry.
But no, let's extend this interrogation out and get Nick involved while we dissect all of Brooke's emotions!!! FUN TIMES FOR ALL.
Brooke held it together beautifully, of course, but then became convinced she simply HAD to tell Nick something.
Cut to the cocktail party, the moment we've all been waiting for, and Ten started playing their token big drama music while Brooke lead Nick away.
It all seemed to be leading up to Brooke telling Nick something that would make him dump her on the spot, but the ensuing conversation went a little something like this...
Brooke: "I've had relationships with women, dat cool?"
Bach: "Dat's cool."
But for real, Nick's reaction to Brooke's "big" news was as rock-solid as we could have hoped for.
"I didn't see this coming at all but it doesn't worry me. Good on her," he said. Because, WHAT ELSE CAN YOU SAY TO THAT IN 2018??!? WHY ARE WE EVEN HAVING THIS CONVERSATION?!
This isn't the first time, either, that the people behind The Bachelor have baited viewers with someone's sexuality — remember when the Bachelor in Paradise producers teased the shit out of Megan Marx and Elora Mulger's kiss?
I feel used.
A bigger scandal, in my eyes, is the fact producers are actually now straight-up trolling Cass by denying her a single date while other chicks are getting second or third dates, forcing her to drop very unsubtle hints to Nick himself because she's so despo for human interaction.