Batsh*t true confessions from two Australian strippers

Permission to cringe, laugh and feel mighty intrigued granted.

There are plenty of misconceptions about strippers. People assume they're drug addicts or dealers, that they all have sex with their clients or they were forced into the job and can't wait to leave. For Jessika and Violet, these stereotypes couldn't be further from the truth.

Theses hilarious, intelligent girls are strippers – a job they entered not only willingly, but enthusiastically – and they say despite the grim depictions of their job in movies, it's actually a pretty good gig.

With much laughter, and a little bit (okay, a LOT) of cringing, they divulged their wildest stories about what goes on behind the sheer curtains at our local strip clubs.

"There are three types of guys that come into work. There's the one who wants the girlfriend experience; for you to make him feel loved and wanted. Then you have the one who's into weird shit that he's just too scared to ask anyone he's actually dating. Then you have the time-wasters who think they're too hot to pay for a dance," Violet explains to Cosmo.

"Those guys come with bucks parties or whatever. You can spot them from a mile away and I don't even bother going near them."

For those of you who've bartended, it's not a foreign concept. You work out very early in the piece which customers are more likely to tip and that's who you serve first – same thing at clubs. Fridays and Saturdays can be dominated by the lads who want to look but don't pay, so a lot of girls prefer to work mid-week with the more serious clients.

This brings us to the fetish guys

Sure, you're familiar with toe-sucking and fluffy handcuffs, but what about guys who want to be a human toilet?

"I was doing a private dance and the guy offered me $1000 to pee in his mouth," Jessika laughed. "I said I ate a lot of asparagus but he told me if I said yes, he'd give me a list of things to eat and how much water to drink.

"Anyway, I thought next time he comes in maybe I'll do it – I mean, a thousand bucks is a thousand bucks. Then one night the DJ said, 'I swear to God if I see one more girl pissing in that guy's mouth I'm going to fire them.'

"Turns out he does it all the time! I asked the DJ and he said, 'Are you kidding? The curtains are sheer; we can see everything you're doing.'"

Violet jokes there's one guy they nicknamed the gynaecologist because "all he does is sit, look at your vagina and do a weird smile".

Jessika has had guys paying extra just to touch her belly button while Violet's regular sniffs her armpit, but they say physical violence is by far the most common fetish. From men begging to be punched in the face to having their nipples twisted, it's safe to say their nights involve a lot of sadism.

"I love it," Jessika confessed. "I can't believe people pay me to slap them."

But some light slaps and kicks are just the beginning for some of their clients. One man regularly asks Violet to repeatedly kick him in the balls as hard as she can for hours – a revelation that makes most men visibly cringe.

Some clients will pay to take them out of the club, but not for sex

"One guy took us out for a day and a fancy dinner, then we both went back to his hotel and stood on his balls all night," Jessika divulged. "We didn't do anything sexual, just took turns putting all of our weight – sometimes with stilettos – on his testicles. He loves the pain."

The pampering aspect is typical of the girlfriend experience some guys are after.

Clients who want The Girlfriend Experience (GFE)

Violet says plenty of men come in and just want to chat and flirt; to feel like they're out with a girlfriend.

"But then they fall for you and they always try to kiss you," she sighs.

Despite what you might think, most guys interested in the GFE aren't virgins, but the girls get plenty of those too.

"I had one guy the other night who was just such a typical Aussie farmer-type – totally normal looking," Violet described. "Anyway, while I was doing the dance he wanted to pretend we were doing doggy-style so I was like 'uhh, okay'.

"So I'm bent over in front of him, he's fully clothed and I have underwear on, and he whispers in my ear 'You feel that baby? It's practically in'.

"It was so hard not to laugh. What do you mean?! We're both wearing clothes!" Violet laughs. "He was definitely a virgin."

One of Violet's GFE clients even came to one of Violet's pole dancing competition with flowers, a slightly awkward situation seeing as her actual boyfriend was there.

"It was definitely uncomfortable, but luckily my boyfriend doesn't overreact so we could just kind of avoid the whole thing," Violet explained.

This blurring of work with private lives is something the girls know all too well.

"Last week, I got a call from a distraught woman who asked if I was Jessika and named the club I work at. I said yes and she explained she was married to one of my regular clients.

"She was crying and screaming at me, asking how I could do this to her family. I was like, 'I don't have anything to do with what your husband does. He's the one that comes to the club and I dance for him because he pays me.'"

When I ask if they bear the brunt of blame they both burst into laughter.

"Definitely," Jessika said, rolling her eyes. "Like we have anything to do with it."

But some of the regulars the girls have grown to like – they aren't creepy or untoward, just nice people.

"I have one guy that... I wouldn't go so far as to say he's a regular, but I've done plenty of private dances for him, and he's really nice so we'll always have a chat," Violet explains. "One time we were sitting together watching a girl perform on stage and he turned to me and said, 'I think I'm gay'.

"There was shocked silence and then he said, 'Like, girls are nice, but I just don't feel the same way when I look at girls as when I look at guys'.

"I said 'that's probably a pretty good sign', but since that, I've done two more private dances for him."

Despite all of their intriguing confessions, the worst part of the job isn't the clients or the awkwardness of some dances; apparently it's far more mundane than that.

"When you're on your period, you have to use a tampon and cut the string off so nobody can see it dangling. Hands down, the worst thing about stripping is having to fish out a used tampon at the end of the shift," Jessika shudders.

If we've learned one thing, it's not to feel sorry for strippers - these girls are doing just fine.