Love

The PDA shame files

Ladies, these are the (OTT) public displays of affection you should never, EVER attempt…

By: Edwina Carr

OK, sometimes when you’re with your boyfriend, or a hot random you’ve just met, sexual tension can be at an all-time high. And while a pash here and an arse-grab there is perfectly acceptable, we draw the line at OTT PDAs where onlookers can easily see what sexual base you and your guy are up to (ew!). So ladies, here’s what NOT to do in public…

“I once saw this girl pashing on with a guy in a club. She had loads of makeup on to begin with but after her pash-fest, all of the makeup around her mouth had been, er, slobbered away revealing her white skin underneath. It wasn’t a good look. I didn’t get the chance to see if the makeup had found its way onto the guy’s face!” Katie, 18

"Last year after Melbourne Cup day, I was walking home with some takeaway watching all the rowdy people about. It was basically broad daylight when I walked past a stone monument right near the busy ferry terminal and I saw a drunken couple literally having sex against it. I felt like such a creep just walking past! I wonder if they remembered it the next day…" Tamika, 26

“Two friends of mine did a road trip up the East Coast with another mate and her boyfriend (who, incidentally, they couldn’t stand). Apparently he was totally obnoxious the whole time, always insisted on driving, and wouldn’t talk to anyone except his girlfriend. The real clincher? His habit of licking her ear lobe when they were at dinner.” Maria, 28

"On Saturday night I was casually walking through my neighbourhood when I saw a couple having passionate sex in their apartment. They were only on the second level and had their curtains and window wide open! I’d always thought I might catch people having high-rise apartment sex because I live in a big complex, but I didn’t expect to see it happening so close to the ground!" Amelia, 22

“Last weekend we were out for my mum’s 50th birthday drinks and this girl who was utterly plastered was on a stool making out with an equally plastered guy. She had her legs wrapped around him (straddling for reals) and then fell off her chair. Ha!" Alex, 24

“I recently witnessed an off-chops chick dry-humping a plant at a daytime garden party in a popular Sydney club. I mean, that must have been pretty awks for the plant." Luci, 28

“I was walking through a park with my boyfriend at around nine pm when we spotted a group of young people drinking. A guy and girl were making out on a seat. As we got closer to them we could see that they were actually covering second base. Ew!” Kate, 26